[ Mood ] Gah.
[ Music ] Lord of the Rings; The Return of The King OST
I just broke a tooth. Another thing to make my day even -better-.
* Sighs *
This is just a day that I can't help but cry, and I'm not sure why. Just.. one of those days.
Whatever.
This is rather cool. I'd like to think it fits me well.
-Bryan-
Name Origin: Celtic
Number of Syllables: 2.00
Gender: Male
More interesting facts about the name Bryan:
Lucky Number: 6
Ruling Planet: Venus
Element: Earth
Primary Color: Indigo
Traits: Gentle and refined; pleasant and sociable. Usually good looking. Natural peacemaker; able to soothe ruffled feelings. Often experiences difficulties in financial fields. Excellent as a host or hostess. Friendly and agreeable.
It's been a while since I've actually posted anything with and substance to it, other than that ten statements one, of course. So, I figured it was probably time to post something about what is actually happening in this hallow place known as my brain. Or.. this hollow place known as my brain.. o_o;;
Whichever.
I've been thinking about my future a lot. About, what I'm going to do with my life. I've been kind of put into this train of thought because Vertigo is going through right now all that PSATs and SATs crap in school. And it's putting a whole lot of pressure on her. I don't think it's fair to do that to someone only in Eleventh grade when no one has even thought of preparing them for it. It made me realize how slack my school is on the same subject. Like, the whole University subject and everything. I know it should be much more strict than it is, really, because I remember when my sister was in Grade Eleven and Twelve that she had to drop a cours and pick up another one because they hadn't told her she needed that certain course to do what she wanted. And it was a huge mess, and very stressful for her. I don't want that to happen to me. Of course, it would help me indefinately if I knew what the hell I wanted to be. Which I don't. Even in the slightest.
I think I need to go to University to find out what the hell I want to do with mehself. I really want to take a few, if not a whole lot, Philosophy and Psychology courses. That's really interesting me, right now. That and writing. I've been thinking more and more of becoming something like a Professor, or teacher, but I don't know if that's what I really would want to do. See, that's the thing, I'm completely lost on what it is I want to do.
And I mean, it's not like I have to pick right away or anything.. since I'm not going directly to Universtity. I'm going to take a year off, and go to Ireland, or some other U.K. Country, because I think that'll be good for me. And I know I won't have to worry about my marks or anything dropping, because all the things in High School I'm learning I'm not even going to need to know in University. That is, in fact, what a lot of Scott's Professors are telling him in Mount St. Vincent. ' Okay, remember what you learned in High School? Okay, now, don't. Forget it all. ' And that makes me feel like I'm wasting my time in this emotional abyss we call High School. But I can't do anything about it, I have to go.
But I think I'm going away for the sole reason of finding what I want to do. When I'm in Ireland, or whatever U.K. country I end up in, I'm going to fish around for the Universities there. I'd love to go off somewhere off Island. Especially in Ireland. The land scapes are so pretty, and it seems like a place I'd love to stay. I have to go to find out.
My future is really sneaking up on me quick. I think it's sneaking up on us all.. we're just not aware. I am really shocked that in a little over two months I'm going to be sixteen. Not that it's a truly important age.. it's just that, it feels like it's only been a year since I entered Junior High. That I shouldn't be this old. It's all so fast, now. I remember my sister turning sixteen, but I've never really thought about it happening to me. At least, no time soon. I'm in grade Eleven. Next year, I'll be Graduating. I'll be done of Public School. That's a terrifyingly wonderful thought, that.
Sometime, in the next school year, I'm going to be running about fretting about my Graduation, getting ready, probably going to Prom. [ I'm planning to go in a traditional Samurai get up. I guess it depends who I'm going with. ] I'm going to be going up on stage, getting a diploma, wearing robes. I'm quite scared that I'm going to be doing that so soon. I don't feel that old. It feels like the past 9 years of my life have just.. flown by. I don't remember half of it. What happened to those years.. all those days I don't remember. It's scary how fast time has gone. People sometimes ask me my age when I'm working in the Store, and I always have to think about it. I'm never sure, either. I always have to ask Mom. It's going to be the same way next year.
' How old are you? '
' Fifteen. No, wait.. sixteen? I think I'm fifteen. No, maybe sixteen. Yes, yes. I'm sixteen. '
I always feel so weird when I do that.. but I do it. Honest to god. Times going so fast that I can't even register what's going on around me.
It always seems like time is going to fast. I never get everything done that I want to, because there's never enough time. Although, I can honestly say that even if there was fourty-eight hours in a day, I still wouldn't get everything done. But that's me. I procrastinate.
I don't know what I'm going to do after I get out of school, which will be, by the way things are going, almost like tomorrow. It's really stressing me out. I'm thinking about going to see a counsellor about what I want to do, or what I should do, rather. I'm going to sit Mom and Dad down and talk to them about it, too. I know that the courses I pick next year, even though I already have most of them pciked, and there's almost no selection, will have -some- impact on what I'm going to do in the future. So I need to think about this, at least some.
I hope I can figure something out. At least something.
Out On My Feet // Pilate
Come in from the cold,
And wipe off the rain that bled into your bones.
Sit down by the fireside,
I watch the flame dance in your eyes.
There's a tear upon your shoulder,
And a scar upon your soul,
Do you fear you're getting older,
Does it bother you so?
I'm out on my feet again,
Is this love lost or found,
I'm caught in your wires and beginning to tire, baby please…
We're silent for hours,
The candles scream for their release,
Like crumbling towers,
They melt into pools at your feet.
There's a tear upon your shoulder,
And a scar upon your soul,
Do you fear you're getting older,
Does it bother you so?
I'm out on my feet again,
Is this love lost or found,
I'm caught in your wires and beginning to tire, baby please…
I'm not sorry, I'm not sorry...
There's a tear upon your shoulder,
And a scar upon your soul,
Do you fear you're getting older,
Does it bother you so?
I'm out on my feet,
Is this love lost or found,
This tale through the years trading smiles for my tears,
The night is now lost, the sun now appears over the hilld and through the towns,
Baby please...
The Fionavar Tapestry is the best Fantasy book I've ever read. Guy Gavriel Kay is a -splendid- author. I luff it.
And Pilate reminds me -so- much of Paul Schafer, my favourtie character. It's great.
Well now. My parents are gone to Quebec for the week. So I'm staying at Bob and Pat's until Friday, when they get back. It should be fun. They're good people. Pat's a great cook, and Bob's fun to talk with.
Not a bad deal.
Getting more into Gaia recently.
And even -more- into Broken Saints. My god it's beautiful. I love it so much. It's well drawn, well animated, and very well written. I already love Raimi. He's the best! * Whoos *
Anyway, I should get to bed, really.
Strange bed, tonight. Wish me luck sleeping, since I didn't sleep at all last night.
' A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other human Invention in History... with the possible exception of handguns and tequila. '
[ Mood ] Whimsical
[ Music ] Broken Saints; Chapter One
[ Eyes ] Grey - Green
Ah. Two updates in such a short time, odd, now-a-days, yes? I used to post everyday, but I guess things are a little different now. XD
Well, since other people seem to be falling into it, why shouldn't I? Here goes.
( These are in random order, just so you know. )
Instructions:
Write 10 statements intended to different people.
Never tell which one is to who.
[ One ] Ah, I met you so long ago. Way back, almost seven years ago, now. We didn't kick it off good at the beginning, really. In fact, I'm pretty sure we didn't really like each other at all. Things got better, then worse, and then better. We've gone on a real roller coaster of emotions to and for each other. And a little while back, we took our own ways. That made me sad, really. We were good friends. You were one of my only friends. And recently, you've been around a whole lot more. And that makes me happy. It's good to be back around you!
[ Two ] You are God. And you always will be, in my world. You're awesome, funny, understanding, and just.. awesome. * Nodnod * You're like an awesome sponge, as we've discussed before. You suck up everyone else's awesome, and no one can do anything about it, because they are in so much Awe. I love being around you, and I love being able to input my thoughts and opinions in the debates that go on around you. It's fun, really. I'd not been able to find someone who I could dump all my Philosophical, or psychological needs and wants on before I met you. I'm truly glad I did, too. You were then when I was down. You're so understanding, and so logical. On the night that I met you, we stayed up all night, and talked. We talked about so many things, and it made me ecstatic that you liked being around me, when I'm so much younger. When I'm probably a whole lot less mature. Hell, you still like having me around. Even if you always trounce me in KoF, or Street Fighter, I still enjoy playing it with you. And I always will. We do still need to get together soon, so we can watch some things, and I can show you how less good I am at you newest addition to your abundance of games. I know I am always welcome at your place, and maybe, when I get my own place, I'll invite you there.
[ Three ] I've only met you recently, and I'm very glad I did. Sadly, though, I met you at a time in my life where I didn't have a stable computer to talk to you on, so we went a few weeks without talking, and when I finally got to talking to you again, I'd forgot who you were! XD I'm terrible like that. But I convinced you to stay, and now we talk often. You're a Helluva funny guy, and an awesome person. And I know you're a Closet Pervy Bryan Fancier, but that's okay, because I need at least one. * Pats * You like shounen-ai, no, Yaoi, and are terribly cute about it. I always enjoy giggling over Dark Link, and other such things. And you're an HTML GOD! It amazes me how good you are. And you've done a whole lot of me. Some of it I'm still waiting on, but that's okay, because you've done more than enough. I can't possible give you enough thanks. I really hope we end up talking for a long time.
[ Four ] I know I've had a lot of regrets involving our relationship.. but I think it was because of the way things turned out that I came to realize how much of a jerk I was. And I know a lot of people are happier because of it. I can't thank you enough, nor can I ever make it up to you. But I can be a friend, and promise I'll never make the same mistake again.
[ Five ]Ah. Lady, Lady, Lady. It's unbelievable how much you helped me when I needed it most. I went to you out of desperation, and found it quite shocking that you actually took me in, and warmed me by the fire. You were there for me to cry into, ( Not physically, of course ), and you straightened my fears out with your calm logic, and sense. You cheered me up with you quirky-ness, and always made me smile with you ability to be so randomly silly. Life has been rather hard on you, recently, and I think you deserve more than what you've been given on your plate, and I only wish I could sneak you some off of mine. I am really rooting for you, right now. I do wish the best for you, and although we've not talked much recently, I really do care about you, and I hope you end up happy.
[ Six ] I share a lot of memories with you. And I'm sure you don’t read this blog, but I'm going to write about you anyways. I met you two years ago, now. I'm glad I did. You helped me a lot. There was an instant connection there, it would seem. Of course, it was a connection a slowly hacked away over the years.. but I treasure the memories that I have with you dearly. All those conversations I have saved that still make me laugh. You've brought light to a lot of people around me, not to mention me, of course, and I thank you for it. And yes, those switches are up that high so only –you- can touch them.
[ Seven ] Although you can be a bit silly at times, I adore you dearly. You've been there for me, and are always cuddly enough to hug. I don't know what it is about me that made you gravitate towards me ever since grade eight or nine, but I'm glad I actually decided that you might be worth a glance or two last year. You've been a dear friend ever since. XD I'll buy you those Chobtits soon enough, don't worry.
[ Eight ] Ah. What to write about you? You've only really entered my life recently. At the end of last year, and this year, I believe. I'm glad you did, too. You're a -great- guy to be around, and you're always fun to kick. You've cheered me up, and been there to hug me, always in a whimsical way that makes me smile. You're an awesome guy! I can't believe I overlooked you for all the time we spent in East Wiltshire. I regret it, really. You'd have made an awesome friend! No wait, you -do- make an awesome friend. Even if your Sharpe obsession can get odd at times, I don't mind, I have my own obsessions. XD
[ Nine ] You. * Giggles * It's amazing how much fun we can have with a little tiny thing such as a conversation that makes noise when you type certain words. XD I think I met you almost exactly a year ago, through someone I don't even talk to anymore. And I remember I always used to get you and Genii Bean mixed up! Which I find very astounding right now.. because you guys are so different. Not in a bad way, of course. You're just.. different. When I met you I had a very school boy-ish crush on you, and I remember that. It was fun. I was so silly. And then that summer when I didn't have a computer happened.. and we didn’t talk. We kind of branched off on our own paths. And even when I got my computer back, and I got back online, we didn't talk. I had the urge to message you, but I didn't. Then, after a couple of weeks, you messaged me, and it seems our paths met again. We've been talking very often ever since. You're always there when I'm down. And you are always so bluntly kind. I love that about you. You never let me put myself down, and I do the same for you. I'm grateful I'm still your friend. You've done a lot for me. You introduced me to Perks, and so many other great books, like The Fuck-Up, and others. You even introduced me to Broken Saints! Which I adore! You're a blast. And like I said last year, there'll always be a place in my heart for you. I kind of proved that over the summer.
[ Ten ] Hmm, where would I be without you. It's as plain and simple as that, really. You're the one that's been there the longest. And no matter how many times I brushed you aside, you always came back. And I don't think you realize how grateful I am for it. I don't want to even attempt to think who I'd be if you weren't there, to curve the way I grew, and the way I matured. I'd not be who I am, if you didn't tag along everywhere. My feelings for you weren't much at first, only because I didn't feel for anything. But as the years went on, and you kept coming back, they grew. They're strong, now. Very strong. Now I adore you dearly. Your smile, your laugh, ( Yes, even the way you mimicked the way I laugh. ), you movements, the way you talk. You’re the embodiment of cute. Literally. You're cute, personified. But you’re not only cute. You're beautiful, intelligent, amusing, and enjoyable to be around, hell you even like games. XD You went out and bought a Gamecube under the sole influence of me loving Tales. I enjoy being held by you, ( Because -I'm- the uke! ), and I enjoy holding you. ( Okay, you're the Uke sometimes. XD ). I enjoy being with you. I enjoy watching things with you, and creating things with you. I like the jokes, and the laughter. I like it all. No, I love it all. And, even though we're in a bit of a rough spot right now, I am sure we can handle it. I do still feel the way I did that day four months ago, and I want you to know that. I am here for you, and I want to be the one you go to when you you need to talk. I will always be here. Even if things turn out different, you will -always- have a place in my life, and my memories. Because I don't forget those who cared about me.. and I would never forget you. You mean too much. You'll always mean a lot to me. Know that.
Oh, and one more thing. This Pudding is rated R! XD
[ END ]
There. That took me an -amazingly- long time to write. XD I wonder if you people can figure yourselves out. You should be able to. It's not like I'm sly, or nothing.
I watched the Butterfly Effect tonight. Good movie. Great movie. Of course.. it was odd. I ended up crying.. over a nostalgic feeling. I've never cried over nostalgia. Of course, it's not like I regret or miss anything. I don't think I can explain it. But it was an experience.
I cut my thumb, too! Owie! It hurts!
Anyway. I'm off to bed. I have a job interview tomorrow.
[ Mood ] Dance-y.
[ Music ] Be As // Prozzak
[ Eyes ] Green. Dark green.
Hullo, folks.
Long time no post. Neeh. I'm sorry. I've been meaning to for several days, but things had kind of.. swept right over my head in the past week. But now that I have several days off, I'm feeling better. More relaxed.
I love Broken Saints. It's -so- pretty. Astoundingly good story, great idea, and awesome art. * Nodnod * I can wait for the DVD to come out. It looks so good. It should be out soon. Very soon, hopefully.
Things need to slow down. It's all been far too much for me. I'm quite overwhelmed.. and I think that's been looked over by some. But not all. And for that I'm glad, because if that was the case, I'd have drowned. I hope things slow down.. everything whirling past. And it's all going to get a ticket if it keeps going this fast.
Anyway. Quiz.. survey.. thing. Yoinked from others.
THREE THINGS I AM WEARING RIGHT NOW... 01. Sunglasses
02. My White AF Pants
03. Cowboy Bebop shirt
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK... 01. Saiyuki, and the first two X dvds
02. Peanut Butter cups
03. Twenty Bucks
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE... 01. Get all the way around the world.
02. Own Thousand Arms
03. Own a Hedgehog
THREE GOOD WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY... 01. Open Minded
02. Kind
03. Random
THREE BAD THINGS ABOUT MY PERSONALITY... 01. Stubborn
02. -Really- stubborn
03. Indignant
THREE PARTS OF MY HERITAGE... 01. Celtic!
02. French
03. British
THREE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT MY BODY... 01. My seksi hip bones!
02. My eyes, when they're green. Green eyes astound me. * giggle *
03. My shape, and size. Figure, and stuff. You know.
THREE THINGS I DON'T LIKE ABOUT MY BODY... 01. My Acne / ickeh-ness all over my face
02. My bented fingers on my left hand
03. My stomach
THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST... 01. I don't belive in cats!
02. Eh?
03. No, listen! XD
THREE PLACES I WANT TO GO... 01. Ireland
02. Asia
03. Europe
THREE NAMES THAT I GO BY... 01. Mortal
02. Crest
03. That kid with the Hat.. XD
THREE SCREEN NAMES I HAVE HAD... 01. lil_mortal
02. Crestfallen
03. Hitokiri Mortal
THREE SONGS I JUST LISTENED TO... 01. Be As // Prozzak
02. Daughters // John Mayer
03. Bottom of a Bottle // Smile Empty Soul
Yay?
Lot of odd songs I've had cravings to listen to. * Points to Prozzak * I don't know why.. I just had the sudden urge to put that CD in. >_>;;
Anyway. Odd Music Aside. I like Gaia.
Us: ' Why're those switches up so high? '
Gavin: ' So only I can touch them! '