Tuesday, June 29, 2004
[ Music ] The Ring on TV.
[ Eyes ] Red.
Mmn.. Ai-ko's mother is the worst parent I've ever seen. * Sighs * Maybe I'll say more later...
We regret to announce the unpleasant expiration of Mortal, who on the 19th of April of this year was viciously shot by an angry cow. This unfortunate incident occurred in a murky swamp in New York City. The deceased was reported to have shouted "Not again!" just before expiring. Mortal is survived by fifty or so gerbils. Funeral services will be held the 7th of next month.
Read your own obituary Here.
o-o;; Yeah.
------------------------
[ Music ] Dare You To Move // Switchfoot
[ Eyes ] Coloured.
Mmn. Lookie.. it's an online Palmistry thing.. Located Here.
This is mine.
Your Life Line reveals that you are a very passionate person that possesses an imaginative and romantic nature.
Your Head Line reveals that you lack confidence, but have a sense of grievance. You carry a chip on your shoulder, but will vent this emotion through participating in political activities.
Your Heart Line reveals that you have a masculine nature and are easily aroused by your own desires. You are able to maintain a good balance between the physical and emotional sides that accounts for your warm and generous disposition.
Your Fate Line reveals that your destiny is variable, uncertain and largely determined by other people. If you let go and allow destiny to take its course, you should have a successful artistic or literary career. The most influencial people in your life will be agents, managers and producers.
You have an Air hand. You are a person who is independent, intellectual, analytical and unpredictable. Your optimal career choices are to work as a writer, psychiatrist, scientist, detective and teacher.
Sounds good, ne?
Mmn. I am sorta iffy today. Don't know why. >_<;; I also am going down to Bob and Pat's house to teach them how to burn CD's. ^_^;; That'll be intruiging. I'm sure they'll feed me good.
Tomorrow will be fun. Funfunfun.
Here's my schedule for the next four or five days;
Tomorrow [ Wednesday ] - Go into town around Lunch. Head to the Theatres and see Spiderman 2 will Ai-ko. Then wander our way down to the waterfront for the Hootie and the Blowfish Concert.
Thursday [ Canada Day ] - No clue. I think Ai-ko's inviting me with her family? We'll see.
Friday - Get into town later, since Ai-ko works, and then go and see the TREWS! And Sammy Roberts! MoG!!!11! That's gunna be -so- Fun! * Giggles insanely * [ Ai-ko's Mother Leaves tonight! ]
Saturday - Still not sure. Gunna go see live.. but we'll be staying back.. it'll be way to big a crowd that night. ^_^;;
Sunday - Gunna go and spend the night at Mitch's! Whoot! Go Mitch!
Monday - Officially start work. >_<;;
So that's my schedule. I also got XP today, so my computer shouldn't be dying as much, now. ^_^; Maybe this means I can fix DoD.. It's dead. * Sighs *
.. Maybe ..
Aishiteru, Ai-ko
------------------------
Monday, June 28, 2004
[ Music ] None.
[ Eyes ] They can see, that's all that matters.
I = Mortal.
That's about all you'll get from me tonight. ^_^;;
------------------------
Sunday, June 27, 2004
[ Music ] Bohemian Rhapsody / Queen
[ Eyes ] Bloo. >_<;;
Mmn. Ice cream is my friend. ^_^;;
I wrote quite a bit last night. Of course it was all terrible, and sucked a whole lot of apples.. and I will soon destroy it good. But.. that's okay. The more I write, the better I'll get.
This Eli fella's got it pretty bad. ^_^;;
I had this plot in my head for a really long time.. but I've never really written on it. Maybe I can do it justice.
Oh! I got my own computer now. It's like.. -mine-. I'm going to have it brought to me on the fifteenth. That's so amazing! I'm so happy. I've got like.. nine to chose from. I don't really know what I want a computer for.. so I'm going to trust my cousin's judgment. ^_^;;
Other than that.. not much.. * Cracks his jaw, and his neck *
Aishiteru, Ai-ko
------------------------
Saturday, June 26, 2004
[ Music ] Session 9 on TV.. >_<;; [ Skeery Movie ]
[ Eyes ] I dun know. You tell me.
Mmmn. I don't know how I feel. I feel pretty good.. but.. I don't know.
Ai-ko came over today.. it was fun. Of course.. in the end I screwed up.. >_< * Sighs *
I don't know.. I always do. * Sighs again * Why is she with me..? I just.. don't get it. I don't deserve someone like her. Mmn.. I really shouldn't question it, though.. maybe that'll make her come to her senses and she'll leave. T_T I hope not. I think that she may see some good in me. She needs better glasses. >_<;;
Uhm.. yeah.
I'll stop babbling.
o_o;;
Sorry.
------------------------
[ Music ] Johnny D. in the Pirates of The Caribbean! * Swoon *
[ Eyes ] Green-eh
Mmn. I jus' got off work. I'm tired. Worked from nine this morning till now.. with a couple of hours off inbetween. >_<;;
Mmn. 200 or so bucks I've made in the past.. two days. ^_^;; [ Plus a bit of over-time.. ] I also found out I'm not making as much as I though I was going to be.. which sucks. >_<;;
::Sigh-yawn-stretch::
I want to have Ai-ko over tomorrow. She needs to see Spiderman so we can go see the new one together. ^_^;; Silly sheltered gal, she is. It has my hunky Willem Dafoe. { <-- Spelled wrong, of course. >_<;; ] Mmn.
MoG! It's my Beatiful Johnny! Oh my Garsh! * Swoon-melt-swoon-sway * I can't get over him. He's such a good actor. He just.. is. And he's so cute. >_>;;
Sorry Ai. You can compete with him. Really. ^_^;; At least in my eyes. And no, I don't need glasses.. You Silleh.
Mmn.. I think I'ma go.. lay down, and maybe sleep. >_<;;
Yeah..
------------------------
Thursday, June 24, 2004
[ Music ] None.
[ Eyes ] Eye-esque.
Mmn. Not much to say. Made Evee watch Secret Window t'day. She was scared by it. ^_^;; Also watch the Audio Commentary. I love the director. He's Keen! ^_^
Mmn.. what else..?
I got a laptop in my room, for the summer. It's not the greatest.. but it's mine. ^_^;
That's all, I think. o_o;;
------------------------
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
[ Music ] Feelin' Way Too Damn Good // Nickelback
[ Eyes ] Green
Mmn. Secret Window is one of my Favourite movies. Ever. I loved it. It was so good.
It was amazing. I could feel my heart beating the whole time. That's how.. suspensful / scary it was. I mean.. whoa. Just.. whoa.
I -have- to buy that movie. Very, very Soon. I mean.. I just.. have to. I can't live without that movie. It is now my life-support.
I need Ai-ko to see it. She has to. I know she dun like skeery movies.. but.. I know she'll like this one! She has to. If she doesn't I'll die. Since it's my life-support 'n all. >_<;;
Mmn.. yeah.. Johnny Depp did -such- a good job in that movie. He always does. I own almost all of his movies. And yes, my name is Gushy McSwoonpants. I love him. He's such a great actor. I love him. And he's so Cuuuute! I mean.. >_>;; He's.. he's.. Hot. Aah!.. I mean.. he's.. spectacular looking.. Ah.. uhm.. I mean.. [ Just shut-up Mortal, who cares what people think. You know he's hot, cute, and extremely good looking. ].. Right. I do. * Smiles, and daydreams * .. Erm.. Yeah.
^__^;;
Johnny Depp is my Hunny! No offence Ai-ko... really.
I swear.. Really. I don't have a crush.. really. I gotta control this. I'm in Love. o_o;;.. But it -is- Johnny Depp. I mean.. C'mon.. * Gushswoongush *.. Erm.. I mean...
I got to find out if Ai-ko can come over tonight to watch The Secret Window with us. She's gotta see it. Just.. she has to.
Yeah.
Man.. my mind is all jumpy.. and.. full of Johnny Depp.. >_>;;
I need to... go..... do..... something.. * Wanders off to build a Johnny Depp shrine *
------------------------
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
[ Music ] Ocean Avenue // Yellowcard
[ Eyes ] I don't care. The Mirror's too far away. XP
Bleh. I'm still broke. I'm amazingly sore today. It's not fun. Not fun at all.
* Sighs *
I don't know why.. but I end this day on a poor note. I really hate this feeling.. but I can't help it. It's just.. I feel generally bad.. both physically and emotionally.
I feel like such a failure in so many ways.. and no matter how many times I am assured that I'm not.. I can't help but think it. Not when she still seems to be feeling so down. I hate this feeling.
It's not fair. Life's been too rushed and busy for me. Summer has started, yes.. but.. even so I still feel like I have a deadline. A dead line to see her. A dead line to start work. A deadline to do something, even if I don't know what. Gawd.. it's bothering me.
I think I just need rest. I got to sleep in today.. but I didn't feel any better. My knee is still excruciating painful.. and I'm still very sore. I'm such a wimp. I should suck it up. I don't deserve a break. I've got things to do. I'm so rushed!
Gah!
v_v;;
My mind is jumping around so much tonight.. I don't know why. Hell, I don't even know why I feel like this.
I just need to relax. I think I work tomorrow.. so that's out of the question.. but.. maybe Thursday, or Friday. Just a day to lay around.. not be sore, or in pain. Just a day for Mortal. I think I need that. I really do.
Emotional stress can wear a guy down. * Sighs * There's been a lot of stuff to stress about.. really.
Mmn. I forgot to Thank Kourtney for finding my cross. I was going to but she was in the woods.. and I forgot. >_<;; Thank you, Kourtney!
What else..?
Mmn.. Ai-ko has been down so much, recently.. I don't like that. It's -really- bothering me.. because I'm not able to bring her back up. That's one thing I'm s'posed to do.. ne? But I can't seem to.. I don't know if it's just because I just.. plain suck.. or if it's her.. not letting me. I don't know. That's whyI feel sorta like a Failure.. I guess I shouldn't be discussing it here. Not for others to be reading, really. Just her. I don't know. Maybe I'll talk to her about it, Tomorrow. Or maybe she'll read this, and talk to me. ::Hint::
* Sighs again *
Why do I feel so bad. I didn't have a bad day.. nor did anything happen. Mmn..
I'm just gunna go lie down and try and sleep. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow.
Aishiteru, Ai-ko
------------------------
Monday, June 21, 2004
[ Music ] Coldplay, Live. ( Again )
I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
You've gone away, you don't feel me, anymore
The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
You've gone away
You don't feel me here anymore
We ::Heart:: You, Lisa. Always will.
Aishiteru, Ai-ko
------------------------
[ Music ] Coldplay LIVE! * Swoon *
[ Eyes ] Uhm.. * Limps to go see * Green-y Grey.
I Broke!
* Sighs *
I dislocated my knee today.
It hurts. A lot.
* Pouts *
And I'm sunburned. This sucks.
But Coldplay's on, and they make everything better! * Swoons-in-a-Chris-Martin-has-an-astounding-voice-fashion *
I'm sorta proud of something that happened today.. even though Ai-ko seemed disappointed all day because of it. * Sighs * I hope she's not. It's the pest I can do.. Ai. I hope ye're okay.
* Hugs you all *
Take Care!
------------------------
Sunday, June 20, 2004
[ Music ] Alert Status Red // Matt Good
[ Eyes ] Green.
Whoa.
Just.. whoa.
I went to the Convacation Ceremony for the Princess of Japan today.
Oh. My. Gawd.
It was -wonderful-.. No.. wait.. -Spifftacular-.
^_^;;
She's brilliant. A beautiful writer, a beautiful speaker in both French and English. She even has a slight British accent! ^_^
Wait was even more whoa.. was that me and Ai-ko got to -meet- and -talk- to her. I shook her hand! She asked me a few questions, commented on my hair.. it was wonderful! I was so amazed!
I just can't believe that it happened. It's the most Cultural Experience I've ever had in my whole life! It was amazing.
Simply Amazing.
( Oh, right.. Happy Father's Day to all you Daddy's out there. ^_^;; )
------------------------
Saturday, June 19, 2004
[ Music ] Blow, on TV.
[ Eyes ] Green-y Grey-esque Bloo. >_>;;
I figured I'd give this a try. o_o;; Again. No life here.
Underline the movies you own, Bold the movies you've seen, Italicise the movies you've seen part of. Then add three movies to the end of the list.
01. Trainspotting
02. Shrek
03. M
04. Dogma
05. Strictly Ballroom
06. The Princess Bride
07. Love Actually
08. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings
09. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
10. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
11. Reservoir Dogs
12. Desperado
13. Swordfish
14. Kill Bill Vol. 1
15. Donnie Darko
16. Spirited Away
17. Better Than Sex
18. Sleepy Hollow
19. Pirates of the Caribbean
20. The Eye
21. Requiem for a Dream
22. Dawn of the Dead (original) ( I own the Director's Cuts. ^_^;; )
23. The Pillow Book
24. The Italian Job
25. The Goonies
26. Baseketball
27. The Spice Girls Movie (Spice World)
28. Army of Darkness ( I own the special un-cut ' Bruce Cambell Vs. Version )
29. The Color Purple
30. The Safety of Objects
31. Can't Hardly Wait
32. Mystic Pizza
33. Finding Nemo
34. Monsters Inc.
35. Circle of Friends
36. Mary Poppins
37. The Bourne Identity
38. Forrest Gump
39. A Clockwork Orange
40. Kindergarten Cop
41. On The Line
42. My Big Fat Greek Wedding
43. Final Destination
44. Sorority Boys
45. Urban Legend
46. Cheaper by the Dozen (original)
47. Fierce Creatures
48. Dude, Where's My Car
49. Ladyhawke
50. Ghostbusters
51. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
52. Back to the Future
53. An Affair To Remember
54. Somewhere In Time
55. North By Northwest
56. Moulin Rouge
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
58. The Wizard of Oz
59. Zoolander
60. A Walk to Remember
61. Chicago
62. Vanilla Sky
63. The Sweetest Thing
64. Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead
65. The Nightmare Before Christmas
66. Chasing Amy
67. Edward Scissorhands
68. Adventures of Priscilla: Queen of the Desert
69. Muriel's Wedding
70. Croupier
71. Blade Runner
72. Cruel Intentions
73. Ocean's Eleven
74. Magnolia
75. Fight Club
76. Beauty and The Beast
77. Much Ado About Nothing
78. Dirty Dancing
79. Gladiator
80. Ever After
81. Braveheart
82. What Lies Beneath
83. Regarding Henry
84. The Dark Crystal
85. Star Wars
86. The Birds
87. Beaches
88. Cujo
89. Maid In Manhattan
90. Labyrinth
91. Thoroughly Modern Millie
92. His Girl Friday
93. Chocolat
94. Independence Day
95. Singing in the Rain
96. Big Fish
97. The Thomas Crown Affair
98. The Matrix
99. Stargate
100. A Hard Day's Night
101. About A Boy
102. Jurassic Park
103. Life of Brian
104. Dune
105. Help!
106. Grease
107. Newsies
108. Gone With The Wind
109. School of Rock
110. TOMMY
111. Yellow Submarine
112. From Hell
113. Benny & Joon
114. Amelie
115. Bridget Jones' Diary
116. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
117. Heavenly Creatures
118. All About Eve
119. The Outsiders
120. Airplane!
121. The Sorcerer
122. The Crying Game
123. Hedwig and the Angry Inch
124. Slap Her, She's French
125. Amadeus
126. Tommy Boy
127. Aladdin
128. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
129. Snatch
130. American History X
131. Jack and Sarah
132. Monkey Bone
133. Rocky Horror Picture Show
134. Kate and Leopold
135. Interview with the Vampire
136. Underworld
137. Truly, Madly, Deeply
138. The Big Hit
139. Sliding Doors
140. But I'm A Cheerleader
141. The Lost Boys ( Although.. ifthis is the one I'm thinking of.. it's a movie about a French Hockey Team.. o_O;; )
142. Superman 1
143. My Blue Heaven
144. The Red Shoes
145. Rear Window
146. The Importance of Being Earnest (1952)
147. Eating Raoul
148. Chopping Mall
149. Suspiria
150. Poolhall Junkies
151. Some Like It Hot
152. Peter Pan (the latest version - NOT Disney.)
153. Now and Then
154. She's All That
155. X-Men 2
156. Power Rangers - The Movie
157. Léon
158. Star Trek - First Contact
159. Reign Of Fire
160. Pulp Fiction
161. Battle Royale 1
162. The Ring (American version)
163. The Ring (Japanese version
164. Sixth Sense
165. The Boondock Saints
166. Rob Roy
167. Legends Of The Fall
168. Pay it Forward
169. Along Came Polly
170. To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything!
171. Akira
172. Mononoke Hime ( Princess Mononoke )
173. The Lion King
My Gawd I've seen a -Lot- of Movies. >_<;;
A Friggin' lot.
I need a life. >_<;;
------------------------
[ Music ] River Below // Billy Talent
[ Eyes ] Same as Down there. They don't change -that- fast.
June 8th, 2004.
A day to remember. Always.
Aishiteru..
------------------------
[ Music ] Where have all the Good People Gone // Sam Roberts
[ Eyes ] Bloo
Mmn.. Just because.. I'm weird. O_o;;
Whoot!
I'm not even sure what this means.. o_O;;
Eheh. Whooosh!
o_O;; -That's- weird.
Eh. * Shrugs *
Whoot! I'm the Fan-service.. wait.. that's gross. XP
Awh, I feel like such an Extra. >_<;;
Alright. I think I'm done now.
I really got no life, Eh?
^_^;;
Something was just suggested that I am really looking forward to. If it ever happens. Sounds very kawaii!
* Nods *
I'm off to slack somewhere else. o_o;;
------------------------
[ Music ] These Living Arms // the Tea Party
[ Eyes ] Green-esque Grey.
Mmn.
I'm very proud of you '
'nuff said.
------------------------
Friday, June 18, 2004
[ Music ] The Simpson's on my new Satellite.
[ Eyes ] Grey. Pure Grey.
Mmn. Finished my Math exam today. Not really finished.. just.. took, really. I think I did really good. ^_^;; I sorta realized that I am really good at Math. Heh..
Mmn.. Ai-ko came over after school. Well, after I went to her house, after school. O_o;; Hai. T'was fun. Hadn't seen her fer a couple of days. I was going through Ai withdrawel. =_=;;
Mmn. I don't know whether to be happy, ashamed, estatic, proud, or coy. >_<;; * Sighs * I guess it was okay. I mean.. yeah. I really enjoyed it.. but.. mmn. >_>;; And yes, it shall remain anonymous. >_<;; No one shall know.
I don't know.
Jon's home, now.
I'll come back tomorrow when I've had more time to take things in.
>_<;;
------------------------
Thursday, June 17, 2004
[ Music ] Don't Panic // Coldplay
[ Eyes ] Green on the outside, with Grey surrounding the Pupil.
Whoot? I added a new thingy up there. My eye-colour, because it changes oh-so-often. ^_^;; I don't know how permanent it'll be. Sort of an experimental thing, I guess.
Anyways. So today was pretty whee-esque. I woke up at eight-something when Ai-ko phoned in the morning. Last night I was up until two something dragging out the phone cords from behind the computer and getting it into my room. I can't remember anything I said, but I remember what she said. Then from then on I woke up every so often from all the random people phoning. Then she phoned again after her first exam. After that I decided maybe I should get up. It was fun. Every time she phoned she seemed to be in a better and better mood. I'm glad things turned out okay, today. I still think you passed your French History, Ai-ko! * Hugs *
Outlaw Star rawks my sawks! Gene's a cutie pie! And so's Jim! And Melfina! And Fred's Shounen-ai! Whoot! That's one of my favourite shows, ever. * Nods * Spent the whole day cleaning my room and stuff with that on. It was fun. I jus' need to get Ai-ko to watch it with me, now. ^_^;;
It seems everyone is writing out long posts to sort of reminisce about the whole school year being over, and all that stuff.. and I think that maybe I should too. I don't really want to, that's the thing. Because I've been posting everyday since April something, I think.. there's not much to say that I haven't already said. * Nods * Well.. except one thing.
I don't regret anything that's happened. Regret only stops one from growing.
Yeah. I hurt Aly.
I hurt Mel.
I hurt Evee-ko.. bad. I hurt her multiple times.
But, if everything that happened.. hadn't happened I wouldn't be who I am. I wouldn't be in love. Humans grow the most through pain and trauma. This year I've grown more than I ever have before in my life.
I'm glad how things turned out. How I turned out. It's better than I ever could have asked for.
For the past little while, I've been happy. I intend to keep it that way, too. I'm finally walking on my own. It's nice to have that freedom, and to know that I'm not as reliant on others as I once was. It's nice. Of course.. I'm sure Id die if I was separated from Ai-ko for too long, but that's only because I'm addicted to her. She just so cuuuute! >_>;;
I guess that this sorta was one of those posts, eh? >_>;;
Oh well. I wanted to say it.
Ja, ne.
[ Translated ]
Don't make fun of it, Don't destroy it, Don't cheapen it.
That one special thing that everyone has.
My love, my dream, and you.
I won't let those go no matter what.
On those nights when you can't settle down no matter what you do
You feel like throwing it all away.
Don't say a word, just open the door,
I don't have time to quibble with you.
I wanna fly all over the place,
I wanna throw caution to the wind!
I haven't lost anything,
I haven't even started yet.
Don't make fun of it, Don't destroy it, Don't cheapen it,
That one special thing that everyone has.
My love, my dream, and you.
I won't let those go no matter what.
What do you want? What do you wanna do? Where do you wanna go?
Grab what you want and rip through the dark as you run Through The Night!
I was off my guard towards your kindness,
But I was frightened at times
I did whatever I wanted to do
But I prefer your heart.
I believe, I want to believe, I want to distinguish between black & white.
It's not only intensity, it's not only kindness--so
Don't make fun of it, Don't destroy it, Don't cheapen it,
Who do you want to embrace?
I think you know.
Only love, only dreams, only you.
I can't even protect it. I have to start moving.
Even if I am hurt, even if I hurt you, even if I make a detour.
With my heart as it is, tumbling as I am, I'll pierce all Through the Night!
Don't make fun of it, Don't destroy it, Don't cheapen it,
That one special thing that everyone has.
My love, my dream, and you.
I won't let those go no matter what.
Embracing, hurting, losing
Everyone realises their precious things,
At any rate, promises, restraints.
What do you want? What do you wanna do? Where do you wanna go?
Grab what you want and rip through the dark as you run Through The Night!
---------------
[ Romanji ]
Semenaide, kesanaide, makenaide,
Dare datte motteru hazu yuzurenai mono
Ai dake, yume dake, kimi dake,
Soredake wa hanasanai donna toki demo
Dooshiyoomonaku ochi tsukanai yoru
Nanimo kamo nage dashita kunaru
Tsubekobe iwazuni sassato DOA o akena
Rikutsu nante koneteru HIMA wa nai
Juo mujin tobi mawa ritai youi shoutou mamorita kunai
Na kushita wake jyanai mada hajimattenai.. dakara
Semenaide, kesanaide, makenaide,
Dare datte motteru hazu yuzurenai mono
Ai dake yume dake kimi dake
Soredake wa hanasanai donna toki demo
Naniga hoshii nanigashitai doko ni ikitai
Yami o saite hashiri nukete tsukamitore Through The Night
Kimi no yasashisani yudan shitemitari
Demo tamani fuan ni nattari
Yaritai houdai yari makutte kitakedo
Demo yappa kimi no mune gaii
Shin jiru shin ji a itai shirokuro hakkiri shitai
Hageshisa dake jyanai yasashisadake jyanai.. dakara
Semenaide, kesanaide, makenaide,
Da kishimetai hito wa dare? Wakatteru hazu
Ai dake, yume dake, kimi dake,
Soresaemo mamorenai ugo kidasanakya
Kizu tsuitemo, kizu tsukedemo, toomawarishite mo
Kokoronomama korogarumama tsuki nu kero Through The Night
Semenaide, kesanaide, makenaide
Dare datte matteru hazu yuzurenai mono
Ai dake, yume dake, kimi dake,
Soredake wa hanasanai tonna toki demo
Dakiatte, kizu tsuite, ushinatte,
Daredatte kizuite yuku taisetsuna mono
Tonikaku, yakusoku, sokubaku,
Soredakejya wakaranai mitsukedasenai
Naniga o shii nanigashitai doko ni ikitai
Yami o saite hashiri nukete tsukamitore Through The Night
Whoa. Long song, eh? * Sways *
Aishiteru, Ai-ko.
------------------------
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
[ Music ] Nothing.
Mmn. I'm am -very- unhappy with what happened tonight.
I am going to go now, and phone Ai-ko.. because I'm really worried.
Gah.
------------------------
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
[ Music ] Breaking the Habit // Linkin Park [ Pretty Video! ]
Today was nothing but absolute bliss. An entire day of nothing but sitting in my Ai-ko's arms. It was so nice. I realized something today that made me feel really good. I am more relaxed around Ai-ko than I am around anyone else I know. Today on the way home on the bus I fell asleep several times.. but it wasn't because I was tired.. and it wasn't because it was so nice out.. it was because I was so relaxed. After spending a full day with her.. I couldn't help but be so calm. I couldn't help but falling asleep. And I realized that everyday last year I spent with her.. I fell asleep on the bus.. and that's why. I felt.. good when I realized that. I've felt stongly for her for such a long time.. I've just been so.. oblivious. * Puts on a Cape * That's me, Captain Oblivious! Whoot! ^_^;;
Today was so nice. Best day in a long time.
Aishiteru, Ai-ko.
Thank you for giving me that.
I have an English Exam tomorrow. I need to study. I really, really do. And yet, I'm not sure how much I'm going to study. >_<;; As it stands.. I think I'm going to accept my marks, whatever they happen to be. I know that's a passive way to think.. and I don't know why I feel that way.. but I do. I'm going to try my hardest, though. I will. I promise.
Mmn. Math on Friday. Than I have a weekend in which I'm -hopefully- going into UPEI to see Princess Takamoto of Japan. She's visiting PEI to see Anne, and is going to be dubbed.. Foreign affair something. ^_^;; I am maybe going to be able to go in with Dad to see her! Isn't that cool? I want to take Ai-ko, too. That would be so cool. What is it.. I think I'd have to call her.. ' You Imperial Majesty '.. or something like that. Not, of course, like I'll get to talk to her, or anything. ^_^;; I wish.
Mmn. Yush. Should go now. My Tummeh feels like it's eating itself, and my other organs, plus I need to study 'n stuff. ^_^;;
Take Care!
------------------------
Monday, June 14, 2004
[ Music ] Let Me Be With You // Chobits
I have absolutely no self-discipline. >_<;;
* Sighs * I gotta get some. Soon.
Neeh. * Whines *
Well, Ai-ko understands.. but still.
Mmn. I can't wait until this school year is over, and I have money, and I have time to sleep in, and be with Ai-ko. Even though we'll both be working, and extremely tired, her mother won't be here to get all Psycho on her.. so it'll be a whole lot more relaxed. At least I hope. >_>;;
As I sit here, with the Beautiful voice of Utada Hikaru blasting in my ears.. I can think of nothing but her. It's so nice, so relaxing. [ So School-boy-esque, yes? ] That doesn't matter. All Coy-ness aside.. I love you, Ai-ko. Remember that, always.
[ Translated ]
In order for us to meet someday, I cast a little spell
Gently placing our hands together, we begin to smile
While pretending not to notice our true feelings inside
Suddenly, we fell in Love
Let Me Be With You
Let Me Be With You
Let Me Be With You
I want to embrace you!
Until now, unable to say it, I've just been hiding it
I'm only acting strong, that's all it is, please see through it
Just wait five more minutes until we can meet
And after that we fell in love
Let Me Be With You
Let Me Be With You
Let Me Be With You
I just want to cry
When we let go our joined hands
It makes me uneasy, It makes me uneasy
Let Me Be With You
Let Me Be With You
Let Me Be With You
I just want to hold you
I just want to hold you
---------------
[ Romanji ]
Futari ga kitto deaeruyouna mahou wo kakete
Ryoute wo sotto kasanetehora hohoemukara
Honto no kimochi kitsukanai furishite
Totsuzen futari koi ni ochitano
Let Me Be With You
Let Me Be With You
Let Me Be With You
Dakishimetaino
Imamade zutto ienaimama kakushitetano
Tsuyogatteru soredakenano mitsukedashite
Machiawasemade atogofun mattete
Sonoatofutari koi ni ochitano
Let Me Be With You
Let Me Be With You
Let Me Be With You
Nakitakunaruno
Tsunaidate wo sotto hanasutoki
Fuan ni naruno Fuan ni naruno
Let Me Be With You
Let Me Be With You
Let Me Be With You
Dakishimetainoni
Dakishimetainoni
---------------
Good Night, Ai-ko.
------------------------
Sunday, June 13, 2004
[ Music ] Just Like You // Three Days Grace
I'm sorta.. half proud of myself. I managed to set somethings today that I didn't think I could. ^_^;; It helps that she is so understanding. Thank you, Ai-ko.
Mmn.. yeah. The hard part will now be sticking to those things that I set. We'll see if Mortal really does have even a small amount of self-discipline.
We'll see.
| How to make a Mortal |
| Ingredients: 3 parts competetiveness 1 part ambition 5 parts leadership |
| Method: Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Top it off with a sprinkle of fitness and enjoy! |
[ A dash of Fitness, eh? XD ]
------------------------
[ Music ] My now.. calmed down heart. Thank you, Ai.
Whoosh.
Just had a few more things to day, and instead of editing my other post, I decided to just.. write another one..
Number one, I found my parents. They were visiting Jon, as I suspected.. but apparently Dad and Jon got into a huge arguement.. and I don't even know if Jon will be coming home. >_<;;
Bah.
And the other thing I have to say.. is I'm sorta torn. Is it right to get close to someone.. jus' because it feels right..? I have sort of a moral problem.. on whether it's okay or not, because of certain things that've happened in my past. I don't know. Even when I think about it.. my stomach turns in knots. And yet.. my heart and chest clench in a way I'll never forget.
Mmn..
I feel like such a School-Boy. >_<;;
::Squeal::
I dun know. It really isn't something to discuss publically.. yes? Especially when I'm such a coy, and shy person about the subject. Mnn. Doesn't seem like me, ne?
Well yeah. That's what I wanted to say. And I said it..
So.. I take my leave.
...
....
::Yoink::
------------------------
[ Music ] My pounding heart.. ^_^;;
Mmn. Evee-ko'sh a cuddly. * Nods Sagely *
Of course, no one else should no that..
Not like everyone knows that I was whoring myself out over the summer.. I -still- can't believe that was said about me.. and I still can't believe that she believed it. * Pouts * I am -not- easy. >_<;;;
Wai!
Exams start in.. like.. three days. I'm not worried at all. I usually never am, until like.. 3 minutes before the exam. >_>;; Stupid Brain.
Mmn. And Yush, I feel injustified. Only one person knows why. And no one else will ever know.. -ever-. Ne, Ai-ko? No one else better know, anyway. Because.. if they do.. I'll.. I'll.. run away crying. [ <-- Threat ] >_>;;
Uhm.. yeah.
Aishiteru..
Now, no one is home, and I'm kinna skeered. I have no clue where Mom or Dad are. It's creepy. * Sighs * I'm getting all.. lonely.
Oh, one more thing..
Type your username with your:
Nose: Baka Battousai
Elbow: Baka Battousai
Tongue: Baka Battousai [ My keys taste bad. >_<;; ]
Chin: balka bawtt6opuisai
Foot: baka battousai
Eyes closed: Baka_Battousai
Whoot. I dinnae do to horrible.
o_O;;
Yeeeeah..
Oyasuminasai Ai-ko.
Sleep well, all.
------------------------
Friday, June 11, 2004
[ Music ] None.
Mmn. Went to see Jon tonight. He is now in the QEH, in a Back-brace. If all goes well, he'll be in that brace for three or so months, and then he should be fine. I hate his attitude at the moment. * Sighs and shakes his head * Evee was there, though, and that helped. Even though I couldn't really get comfort from her.. just her presence was enough for me.. * Nods *
We also went to see Garfield before hand. It was good. I loved it, minus the whole.. Jon not being a pathetic loser like he's s'posed to be, like in the Comics. Mmn.
G'night.
------------------------
Thursday, June 10, 2004
[ Music ] Pachebel's Canon
I = Exhausted.
Evee = Not gunna be in school fer most of the day tomorrow.
This post = Over.
>_>;;
------------------------
[ Music ] The Buzzing of my half Dead 'puter.
No news on Jon, yet. If this keeps up, Dad won't be home for father's day. That's not fun. I'll be sure to report anything new.
I feel so hopeful at the moment. Is optimism a disease? It seems to spread around.
I can't thank Mitch enough, for th initiative he took this morning.
The Board is set, and the pieces are moving.
Yeah.. as Gradual as an Hourglass.. >_<;; * Coughcough * I'm-a-moron! * Ahem *
I believe I made a mistake in something I said tonight. * Sighs * I hate hearing her voice like that. So.. sad and empty, it seemed. I feel like I fail her everytime I hear it.. so I only have to try harder to make it unnecessary for her to use it..
I'm sorry, though.. I hope you understand.
Well, who am I kidding? You're the most understanding, forgiving person I've ever met.. and I'm glad, because I can be pretty Dumb. >_<;;
Anyway, I'm going to stop rambling on about these things that most of you ahve no clue what they are about.. only because I'm too lazy, and too coy to go into details. So Nyah!
'Night.
------------------------
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
[ Music ] Digimon OST. ^_^;;
Alright, here we go!
Are you a Seme or Uke?
Whoot..
The Yaoi Selector: Which Uke are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Cuuute!
20% Seme
How seme are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
But this one also applies. Depends on how I feel.
50% Seme
How seme are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Whoot..?
I'm off.
------------------------
Monday, June 07, 2004
[ Music ] River Below // Billy Talent
Mmn. Not much new on the Jon front. Nor on the Mortal front.. I'm in pain. My head hurts, my stomach hurts, I'm cold and can't think straight.
He didn't go into surgery last night.. but he may tomorrow. I'l tell you if anything new comes up.
Other than that.. * Shrugs *
Rejected...since day one
My name is...bastard son
I've been damned...so many times I've lost count!
Blue collar...working man
Devices...masterplan
Bi-polar...with a mental side arm
I'm sick and I'm twisted
I'm broken you can't fix it
Don't make me, cause I'll do it
Red button and we'll all go
Into the river below...running from the inferno...
You'll think I'm insane but you'll all know my name!
Into the river below...running from the inferno...
I'll take all the blame, the front page and the fame!
Contraption...made up of
Nuts and bolts...creates the
New monster...to burn your family tree down!
Tick-tocking...times up now
Split second...the world frowns
Lonely heart...never had nobody!
I'm sick and I'm twisted
I'm broken you can't fix it
Don't make me, cause I'll do it
Red button and we'll all go
Into the river below...running from the inferno...
You'll think I'm insane but you'll all know my name!
Into the river below...running from the inferno...
I'll take all the blame, the front page and the fame!
I'll take all the blame
The front page and the fame
Into the river below
Into the river below
Into the river below
Into the river below
Into the river below...running from the inferno...
You'll think I'm insane but you'll all know my name!
Into the river below...running from the inferno...
I'll take all the blame, the front page and the fame!
Yeah I'll take all the blame
The front page and the fame
But you'll all know my name
And you'll think I'm insane
But you'll all know my name
But you'll think I'm insane
------------------------
Sunday, June 06, 2004
[ Music ] Nothing. Just silence.
My brother is, as I write this, undergoing surgery.
He broke his spine.
Apparently he fell 25 feet out of a tree, and landed directly on his shoulders. His spine is snapped on a thrirty-five degree angle. 99.9% of the people whose spines have been broken that way have been paralized. Jon, however, is not. He is a one in a million case. He had a bit of extra space inbetween his spinal column and his vertebrae, and there was no damage done to his spinal column.
He's lucky.
He, apparently was jumping from tree to tree while both drunk and stoned, and then he fell. Gawd he's such an idiot. He was less than a millimeter from being paralized. He also got up, walked to the car, and drove to the hospital -with- a broken spine.
Dad is over in Moncton with him. They have no clue how long they're going to be gone.
* Sighs *
Yeah.
------------------------
Saturday, June 05, 2004
[ Music ] The Reason // Hoobastank
Whoosh!
I'm at Bob and Pat's. Friends of the Folks. I came down here to borrow their computer and net for a while to do that English Project, since Dad is on my computer, which is dieing anyway. >_<;;
What else is new. I've been here for like.. 5 hours. I feel a little guilty. They've been feeding me, and stuff. >_>;; * Drinks Pepsi and eats some crackers *
I forgot to tell her last night! She left so quickly! >_<;; I really hope you've been having a good time, Evee. Sorry I didn't wish you to have a good time last night. * Sighs * It's been bugging me all day. * Frowns * I'm weird though, eh?
This space bar sticks, and it's bothering me.
Anyway, gotta get back to this project, and then back home.
Till later.
Oh.. right! Evee, when you get home.. if it's not too late give me a ring? Remember.. you can phone until like 11 - 11:30. ^_^;; Arigatou-gozaimashita!
------------------------
Friday, June 04, 2004
[ Music ] Everybody's Fool // Evanescence
Hai, I do want to cry. But it's not a bad kinna cry. I'm in a bad mood.. I denno why. * Sighs * Anehwho. Quiz?
Have you Ever...
1. Been kissed: Eek! * Blush *
2. Done drugs: Nope. Never Have, Never will.
3. Eaten an entire box of oreos: Hai. Mortal no pig deshu!
4. Eaten sushi: Hai.
5. Been on stage: Depends on what for. Yes, a couple of times.
6. Been dumped: Nope.
7. Gotten in a car accident: Hai. One or two. Nothing serious.
Do you prefer...
8. Cold or hot: Cold, I guess. I can handle cold better.
9. Blue or red: Red.
10. Rain or snow: Rain, because rain is so soft, so nice. ' Even Bloody Rain clenses the soul '...
11. Wool or cotton: Cotton, definitely.
12. Rose or daisy: Rose I guess. One of those white ones, or the black ones.
13. Private school or public: I go to Public school.. but I'd love to go to a Boarding school. It's just an experience I'd really like to have. Who cares if I like it or not.
14. Chocolate or plain milk: Chocolate! * Laps *
15. Celsius or farenheight: What is that one.. Kelvin?
16. Spring or fall: Autumn, definitly. So pretty.
17. History or science: Science. I'm a Physics Geek.. >_<;;
18. Math or english: English. Definitly! English is the greatest!
19. Alternative or country: Alternative. Go Rawk!
Love and Friendship..
20. Do you like someone right now?: ...Hai..
21. Do they know?: Hai..
22. Who makes you laugh/smile the most?: Evee-chan.. Kawaii.
23. Who do you e-mail the most?: No one. I don't send e-mails, really.
24. Who's the loudest?: Have to be Josh, I guess.
25. Who's the shyest?: Evee-ko.
26. Whose parents do you know the best?: Mmn.. I know Eva's parents a little. They're Psycho.. and I know Josh's a little. That's all..?
27. Who are you jealous of?: I don't know, really. Not much.
28. Who has the best room?: Me.. >_>;; Really. I'm not bragging, my room is just.. super spiffy. Everyone will agree with me.
The last time you..
29. Had a serious talk?: The Arts Coffee House, with Mitch. That was fun.
30. Hugged someome?: Evee-ko!
31. Gotten along with your parents?: I always get along with them, really.
32. Fought with a friend?: Hai. Two or some months ago..
Do you like to..
33. Give hugs?: Hai! Hugs for everyone!
34. Give back rubs?: Sure, if people want them..?
35. Take walks in the rain?: Hai. T'is the best thing ever.
Other Stuff..
36. What are you doing this summer?: Working, and working a crapload. >_<;;
37. Who is most likely to be a model?: I.. don't know..?
38. Which friend knows most about you?: Evee, I guess. Because of the l'il competition things we have.
39. Who Have you known the longest?: Evee. I put her name in her a lot here.. >_>;;
40. Who Will most likely end up in jail?: I'm gonna have to say Josh, here. No offence, or anything. He's just I denno. >_<;;
41. Been to a concert?: Hai. One or two.
42. Cheated on a test?: I don't know. Maybe?
44. Stalked someone?: Yush. But i can't say, or they'll find out.
45. Single and looking or hooked and happy?: I'm Hooked on Fonics. >_>;;
46. If you were going to go out with anyone who would it be?: Someone who I loved, obviously.
47. Have you had an online relationship?: Nope.
48. Worst habit: I don't know. Forcing my mood on others.
49. What really makes you mad: Stubborn, ignorant people.
50. Scariest moment: I don't know. When people leave when I don't want them to.
51. Happiest moment: In her arms.
52. Do you swear too much?: I don't swear.
53. How do you feel about homosexuals?: Shounen-ai is Kawaii! Shoujo-ai is pretty cute, at points, too.
54. How do you dress?: Comfortably...?
55. What color boxers are u wearing?: Black.. I think.
56. What song are you listening to?: Look up. It says Evanescence, silleh.
57. Last thing you said: Good Bai.
58. What is your desk made of: Wood..
59. What was the last thing you ate?: Peanut Butter and Jam Toast Sammich.
60. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?: Red, Green, or Purple. Or.. maybe one of those mixed crayon ones.
61. Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with: I don't know, yet. I have a shadow of an idea.. but that's all..
62. How's the weather right now?: Sunny, warm, but cool and nice.
63. What's the nicest thing you find about the opposite sex?: Opposite? Who said anything about the opposite? I think Hair, and Eyes are the prettiest feature on any gender.
65. Candy?: No, chocolate.
66. Who makes you happy?: Evee-ko.
67. Height?: 5'10''?
68. Last cd you bought: Pilate // Caught by the Window
69. Have you ever won any special awards?: Nu.. one last year. But that doesn't count.
70. What do you want to be when you grow up?: Breathe?
71. If you were an animal what would you be?: A kitteh! * Nuzzle *
Yeah. Now that that's done.. Time to start the MSF.. Whoot?
>_>;;
<_<;;
Yeah.
* Leaves *
------------------------
Thursday, June 03, 2004
[ Music ] Pilate! * Sways *
Post-y..
Happy 101st Post?
Lame. That's me.
I had a post planned, but it's all gone, now. >_<; Gawd I need to buy a memory, or something. Maybe I should hire and assistant. I know.. Evee! She already lives in my closet, and is pay $40 a week to keep my feet warm.. so.. she can be my Memory too. I'll have to ask her about it. It'd involve a -Raaaaaise-. * Waves money *
Ahem.. Yes.
Evee-ko no kawaii-cuddley deshu!
On that note, I leave you.
>_<;;
Night.
------------------------
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
[ Music ] The TV by the Computer
Guess What!
This is my Hundredth Post! * Cheers *
Whoot!
That is kind of weird, if you think about it. One Hundred posts about me, my angsty teenage life, and my growing and changing into the person I am now. It's almost a scary thought that any random stranger could be reading about my life. About my troubles, and triumphs. My struggles, and my stresses. I can't help but wonder what they think of me. Even as they read this..
...
Hello People! >_>;;
Uhm, yeah.
So one hundred posts. I feel.. oddly proud. It's weird. But it's probably just me.
My life is going fast, now-a-days. School is almost flying by. Exams start in like.. a week ad a half. That's skeery, but also not. It feels like we barely covered anything, this term. I don't really feel like I've learned all that much. And I only have Exams in Math and English, so it's not all that bad. My social life seems to be going fast, too. School days barely seem like 1 hour, now instead of seven gruling ones. It's oddly complacent.* Shrugs * It's weird I tell you. Weird! >_>;;
Maybe it's just a consipircy against me. It's Einstein's theory of Relativity. Time only goes as fast or as slow as things as yo percieve. Example; When you're sitting there with someone you care extremely deeply about, laughing, talking, and generally having a good time, times just seems to disappear. But, if you're stuck in a boring job, anxiously waiting for the oppourtunity to see that person again, time seems to drag on slower than cold molasses up a hill in January, for lack of a better expression. ( Don't ask.. >_<;; ) However, this isn't the case for all people. It's all Relitive! It's different for every single human on this planet. This is just how it works for me.
Einstein was a Genius... well.. No Da! >_>;;
Erm.. yush. Enough on that tangent.
In fact, that's enough on most tangents. ( <-- That means I'm heading off. )
So, talk to you all, later!
And, Happy 100th Post! ^_^;;
------------------------
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
[ Music ] None.
Mmn. I've been planning this post for a while, but I could never write it. I guess.. it's just been to hard. Not really anymore though. I guess I've succeeded in what I was trying to do.
Here goes.
It's been a while since I've talked to Aly. I mean.. really talked, like friends. Almost two, or maybe even three months. But I'm okay with that now. I really am. I mean, yes, it still bothers me a little about what has happened, because it was all very unfortunate, but I can't let that pull me down any longer. I went a whole month, practiaclly, in tears. That's unbelievable, now that I think about it. That whole month, I wallowed in regret, and self-pity. I am not going to apologize, for it though, for I don't see it necessary. I lost my closest friend, I'm allowed to greive. It did, however, get out of hand. It has only been the last few weeks that I've really realized that I am truly happy. I've been able to smile, even when I'm feeling down because I've been able to think about things that make me happy, and that always make me giggle. I've been able to push that bad mood aside, and be happy for the ones I care about. And, as huge of a part that Evee, and Lisa, and everyone else who was always rooting for me played in this.. none can compare to how Alyssa helped me with this. I know this may sound weird, but it's true.
My favourite song right now, or one of at least, is The Reason // Hoobastank. It happens to be the Theme for this layout because of that reason. And it's with that song that I can most easily describe what Aly has done for me.
I hurt Aly, and I hurt her bad. I've regretted it, and I will always. However.. because I hurt her, she left. She made me see who I really was, a self-centered, clingy, jealous, depressed moron. And it's true, I was. It was because of her leaving, and my recognizing that.. that gave me -my- Reason. It was my Reason to change. My reason to become a better person.
I can't thank her enough for what she did, because I'm happy now. Even when I see her. I couldn't write this post so long ago, because I wasn't ready. I am ready now, though. I have finally let her go. I couldn't write this post because I wasn't ready to say good bai. I wasn't ready to move on. I needed more time, and that's what I got. Hence, why I am wrting this now. This is my Good Bai, to a dear, sweet friend, who I will never forget. I know she doesn't read this, anymore.. I need to do it for me.
Thank you, Aly.
You were my Reason to change.
I will never forget it, either. For, it was partially because of you that I am the way I am. I can make myself, and those I care about happy, now.
And I couldn't have done it, without you, either, Evee. You played a very important role in this. I can never thank you enough.
So.. this is it. My final words of the night.
Good Bai, Alyssa. Thank you for everything, and Take Care.
------------------------