Evee here.
Ok the deal is. Spyware has attacked Mortal's compeh.. so.. no postng for a few days until everything is taken care of.. uhm.. 'Happy Birthday' and...
ya.. Take care. ^_^;;
[ Mood ] Erm.. Happeh! * Giggles insanely *
[ Music ] Absent Elements // Finger Eleven
I promised a long post tonight, didn't I? * Frowns *
I don't have much to write.. v_v;;
I'm sorry. On the day I promised it, I can't think of anything.
* Grumbles * I picked my song for that Project. Forced to pick it in such a rush. I picked the same song as this Layout. That is, the Reason // Hoobastank.
It was the song I figured I'd end up doing anyway.. since it explains things so well. Mmn. Yeah. It was that, or Out of Control by Hoobastank.
I hope I can do a good job on this. I go on the first day.
What else? Oh, we're doing that weird Choices thing in ITC.. >_<; Apparently, I'd make a god Tap Dancer. >_<;; * Dances, and falls on his face * Great dancer.. yeah.
What else? I need money for Books.. and a GameCube.. and a PS2.. and Games.. and CDs. Can anyone say Lottery time!? >_<;;
Uhm. Yeah. That's my life.
I had a dream abot Gavin, last night. Yeah. Weird.
Gotta Jet!
>_<;;
>_>;;
<_<;;
Maybe a long post tomorrow.. But I can't make any promises!
Jus' got home frum driving Evee home. Whee! Evee-chan no cuddly desu!
>_>;;
Saw Van Helsing! Great movie. I love Van Helsing. I want his hat. >_<;;
Rented Big Fish. Gunna go watch that soon.
Also bought Pliate today. Or.. not bought.. ' Aquired '. we'll say. * Shakes his fist at Evee * Such pretty music.
Since a couple of other people do it.. I will start now too. Putting that.. Mood / Music type thing on every post. See. * POints to the bottom of the post. Maybe I'll put it on top, though.
Mmn. I'm going to go. I'm exhausted. Up till four last night. v_v;;
'Night.
[ Mood ] Thoughtful. Philisophic. Tired.
[ Music ] Melt into the Walls // Pilate ::Sway::
I don't know, yet. I am still so lost. I don't know what to think. What to feel. * Sighs * This is from the book I am reading. It's called 'Eternal Echoes; Celtic Reflections on Our Yearning to Belong ' so far it's a really good book. Anyway.. this is from it.
Our Longing to Be Loved
One of the deepest longings in the human heart is the desire to be loved for yourself alone. This longing awakens you completely. When you are touched by love, it reaches down into your deepest fibre. It is difficult to realize actually how desperately we do need love. You inhabit your life; you seem to be in control. You live within an independent physical body. From the outside, you seem to be managing very well. Because you present this face to the world, no one suspects that you hae a different ' inner body ' called the heart, which can do nothing for itself if it is not loved. If our hearts were our outside bodies, we would see crippled bodies transform into ballet dancers under the gaze and in the embrace of love. It is difficult to love yourself, if you are not first loved. When you are loved, your heart rushes forth in the joy of the dance of life. Like someone who has been lost for years in a forgotten place, you rejoice in being found. When you are discovered, you then dsicover yourself. This infuses your whole life with new vigour and light. People notice a difference in you; it is nice to be around you. Love somehow transfigures the sad gravity of life. The gloom lifts and your soul is young and free. Love awakens the youthfulness of the heart. The discover your creative force. It is quite touching to see love bring someone home so swiftly to themself. The Conamara poet Caitlin Maude writes:
His little beak
Under his wing
The thrush of our love.
Even without the outside lover, you can become the beloved. When you awaken in appreciation and love for yourself, springtime awakens in your heart. Your soul longs to draw you into love for your self. When you enter your soul's affection, the torment ceases in your life. St. Bonaventure says in The Journey of the Mind to God: ' Enter yourself, therefore, and observe that your soul loves itself most fervently. '
It's such a good book. I want to make a couple of people read it.. and.. depending on the circumstances.. I'd like to lend it to one, especially. * Sighs *
I don't know what else.. I.. feel Numb.. I guess is the best way to put it.
How about a survey?
WOULD YOU RATHER... 1. Pierce your nose or tongue? Neither, thank you very much.
2. Be serious or be Funny? Depends on the situation.
3. Boxers or Briefs? Boxers.
4. Drink whole or skim milk? Chocolate Milk.
5. Be single or taken? Who knows.
6. Simple or complicated? Can't answer this.. if I'm simple, than it would get boring.. but being complicated gets hard, too. I'll say both.
DO YOU PREFER... 8. Flowers or Angels? Angels. But not those stupid two wings.. cutesy things. The hardcore Angels from the original writings, with Eight wings, and voracious appearences. >_>;;
9. Grey or Gray? I can never remember which one is the colour. >_<;
10. Color or black-and-white photos? Black and white. So much more.. clean.
11. M&Ms or Skittles? M&Ms. ^_^;
14. Country or Rock? RawK!
15. Staying up late or waking up early? Both. The less time asleep, the better.
16. TV or radio? Those Radio stations on the TV. >_>;
17. Calling it POP or SODA? Pop. I'm Canadian, eh?
18. Using X's or O's in Tic-Tac-Toe? X's, I guess.
19. Water or soda/pop? It's Pop I tell you, not ' Soda '.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY... 21. Do you have a crush? Iie.
22. Who is it? Look up, Baka.
DO YOU PREFER... 23. Being hot or cold? Cold. 'S better than being Hot.
24. Tall members of the opposite sex or short? Opposite sex..? No clue. But fer boys, it be short.. but not too short.. >_>;; A l'il shorter than me.
25. Sun or Moon? Moon.. so much prettier than the sun..
26. Emeralds or Rubies? Emeralds.
29. Sun or rain? Rain. Sun is too bright.
30. Vanilla ice cream or Chocolate? Chocolate.
31. Boys or girls? Bishounen? >_>;;
32. Green beans or Carrots? Carrots.
33. Low fat or Fat ree? I don't care. As long as it tastes good.
MISCELLANEOUS... 34. What is your biggest fear in the world? Claustrophobia... I guess. That and being alone.
36. Kids or no kids? Kids no kawaii desu!
37. Cat or dog? Kitty-desu!
38. Half empty or half full? It depends. If it was poured halfway, half full. If it was drank halfway, Half empty. If I just stumble upon it, it's just Half.
39. Mustard or ketchup? Ketchup. Ish red - desu.
40. Hard cover books or soft cover books? Soft.
41. Newspaper or magazine? Magazines. Go NP. >_>;
42. Sandals or sneakers? Sneakers. Better for Sneaking.
43. Wonder or amazement? I don't know. Both?
44. Red car or white car? Red. Too much dirt on white.
45. Happy and poor or sad and rich? Happy and poor.
47. Hugging or kissing? I like hugs! And.. erm.. * Blush *
48. Corduroy or plaid? Plain? Corduroys make that weird swish-y sound. >_>;
49. Happy or sad? Happy.
50. Purple or green? Dark Purple.
51. Blondes, brunettes, or redheads? Red hair is sho pretteh!
52: What time is it? 7:45
53. Full Name? Mortal.... ( Bryan Daniel Viau )
55. Parent's names? Kathy and Dan
56. Names and ages of siblings? Becka; 21, Jon; 19, and Scott; 22
64. Had the drink Calypso Breeze? Nope. And I never plan to.
65. Been in Love? Loved. Not in love. There is a difference.
66. Played cops and Robbers? Yush, at my old house with Jon and my old neighbours. Also played a Ninja Turtle-y type game.
67. Loved somebody so much it made you cry? Hai.
68. What kind of job do you want? Something in Anime, Writing, or Gaming.
69. Do you want to get married? Hai!
70. Who makes you laugh the most? Lots of people.
71. Who is your quietest friend? Evee.
75. Who knows the most about you? Gavin, I think. He knows a lot.
76. Croutons or bacon bits? Croutons by far.
77. 2 doors or 4 (on a car)? I don't know. My Jeep will have four.
78. Pepsi or Coke? Pepsi.
What comes to mind? 89. Dugbootie? o_O;;
90. Rock? RawR!
91. Green? Purple?
92. Crying? Pain. Hurt. Aly.
93. Peanut butter? Cookies! I'm a Master-Baker. ( That's a -K- demnit! )
94. Spring? Boing?
95. Summer? Work.
FAVORITES... 101. Song at the moment? Mordred's Lullaby // Heather Dale
105. Color? Dark purple or Red
106. Alcoholic drink? * Fwaps *
107. Non-alcoholic drink? I denno.. Apple Juice?
109. Country song: I avoid this type of music... >_>;;
RANDOM QUESTIONS... 119. Name the person that you are friends with that lives the farthest Away? Gaveh, or Lisa
120. Do you belong to any kind of group? Erm.. no?
127. Who is the person that will send this back first? You can't really... send it.. it's on my Blog, silleh.
129. What do you think about this person? Seeing on how he's.. sorta non-existent.. he's okay?
There you go. Another survey.
I think I'm going to go. I'm sore, tired, and my head hurts.
How to start this post.. How to write everything I felt tonight.. Truth is.. I can't.
I'm sorry.
I can't do it.
Tonight I talked to Aly. First time in over a month. It was hard.. and it made me cry.
I went downstairs afterwards.. was confronted by Mom and Dad.. and ended up talking to them for almost two or some hours. It helped. It hurt, but it helped.
I can't remember most of the conversation.. too much being said at once. There are some parts that stick out. Like.. when I told Dad some things.. and he told me that the only thing I can do.. is be as healthy and happy as I can.
The phrase ' Let go ' was used so much..
I don't know. I need to think. I need to sleep.
I'm contemplating going to see a counsellor.. maybe.
Mmn.. today was hard. No.. not today, this afternoon, was. I walked home, talked to Mom for the usual 10 minutes, or whatever, came upstairs, and got on the 'puter. Gavin was online. That was unusual. I talked to him. Asked him about phoning. There were somethings said that were unsettling. I am not going to bother repeating them, they are not important, enough. However.. a chain of events has started. * Sighs * I hope it turns out for the best. I don't want to write anymore.. about that. Sorry.
We got an English assignment today. One I've been waiting for all Semester. >_>; I'm all giddy, because of it. Here it is;
English Project Choose a song which displays a strong emotional content. Present a thorough Biography on the Artist / writer. Go over the song exploring the story told by the lyrics. Discuss the strong emotional content of the song using the lyrics to explain your statements. You -must- provide a Visual of the lyrics for the class, and provide other forms of visuals to reinforce information related to the song, artist, writer, or the topic. Your song can be no longer than 4:30 with the entire presentation running 7 - 10 minutes, depending on the length of your song.
Ain't it spiffy? >_<;;
I have no clue what song to do, though. So.. what I am asking, now, is that all of you who read this, and give a damn.. can you leave a suggestion of a song that you think suits me, going off of what you've read here, or what you know of me, in my Comment Box.. ^_^;; I'd really appreciate it. It can be any song, really.. it's just got to be tasteful.. And I'll go through, and then it'll give me some guidlines to help me decide.
I had so manythings that I wanted to write, today. So many ideas, thoughts.. stuff like that, but it's all gone, now. v_v; I don't know if I want to write them, anymore.
There is one thing that I want to write, though.
Walking home from school today.. I was led to thinking. It wasn't fun. By the time I reached my house.. I was in tears. I was led to the fear that I have from all of this. From everything that's been happening. The fear that.. the longer I am away from Aly like this.. the less likely she will ever welcome me back. What if her happiness lies without me there? I know if it does.. than I wish nothing more for me to just.. disappear off the face of this planet. But.. what about my happiness? I know now that my happiness can nver rely on those around me altogether, but.. I miss her so much. I miss her friendship. I miss her caring. Hell.. I miss her voice, her sense of humour. I just miss -her-. I only want my friend back, and that's all I want. I don't want anything more from her. And I never will again. That's wrong of me, and it always was.
I was told today that she said I was Controlling. And it's true, I was. I was an extremely manipulative and controlling person. That's how I hurt her. I manipulated her so many times.. over and over again. And no matter how many times I said it would stop, it never did. * Sighs * She has every right to not want me around. I was a terrible person to call a friend. Mmn.. However, I was also told today.. that since this has happened.. and since I've started to get a lot closer to Eva.. that I seem less and less like that, if I am like that at all. I'm not putting myself first here, anymore. It's not me.. now, it's them. And.. I guess by doing that. By putting them first, I've been helping myself more than ever.
This has been hard. Too hard, really. I find it amazing that I've gone this long without talking to her. This long with thinking about her as little as possible. This long without going to her blog. I'm astounded at my level of self-discipline, which is usually incredibly slow. I'm just.. amazed that I haven't actually typed the small, simple address to her blog in the address bar in over a month now. That's a hard thought. This is all hard. It all makes me want to curl up in my bed and sleep for days. It all makes me want to just.. make it end.. But I can't. Not now. Not after I've made it so far.. I can't let myself do that.
Thank you, Lisa. Thank you for letting this happen. Thank you for keeping me here. Keeping me on track. I'd be lost without you.. But again, I can't rely on you too much. So I won't.
Remember way back. Last month. I think it was on a Friday. Friday April 9, to be exact. I'm going to put some my post from that day here.. just... as a reminder.
Friday, April 09, 2004
This is because of a promise. A promise that this is Mortal's time, and his alone.
Maybe after a while, it can belong to others... But not now.
' One you truly hates himself, cannot love. '
I'm out.
This time truly has been a time only for Mortal.. and by no means am I saying that I'm changed and everything's A-okay.. but.. I think I am willing to live for others now. This is no longer a time only for Mortal. There is one other that I want this time to be for. And I am glad that it can be so. I am glad that she can share this time with me.
Thank you, Evee. Thank you for being here.. thank you for standing by me. I know I've said this all before.. but I can't say it enough, really.
I want to share this time with you. Do you want to share it with me..?
Other than that.. I think I'm done, for tonight. I'll be back again tomorrow, of course. I always come back, right? ^_^;;
My mood seems to have increased since I began writing. I guess that's a good thing. And.. since I know Kourtney will be reading this tomorrow in ITC.. I'll say Hi.
I guess I lied to Evee.. I -am- sore today. v_v; It sucks.
Mmn.. I just finished watching The Last Samurai. We rented it tonight. Mom and I, that is. We also went down to Rustico for dinner. It was nice. I enjoy Mother's company. Mmn.. but on the way back, we passed Gulf Shore.. and I was sent reeling into a spiral of thoughts. Thoughts of Aly. Thoughts of my Brother. Thoughts of what it would have been like if I had chosen to go to Gulf Shore. Then.. thoughts of East Wiltshire. That decision in my life, of which school to go to, will bother me, I think, for a long time. There are so many things that could've been different. I guess I'm one of those people haunted by those two terrible words.. ' What if..? '. If I had gone to Gulf Shore I would have been able to meet Aly five years earlier. I would've seen what it was like to, most likely, have been liked in school by the majority of people. But.. if I went to Gulf Shore, I would have never have met Kat. I would have never have really became friends with Aaron. But.. most importantly.. I never would have made that connection with Evee. I think that makes it worth everything I went through. She means a lot to me. More than a lot. She was there, everyday. For every tear I hid. For every smile I showed.. she was there. And she kept at it. She made sure to care for me. She made sure I cared for me. She was the one who started cracking that god-forsaken mask I always had on. It was her. And all the pain I caused her. I hurt her, sent her into depression, broke her heart.. I don't deserve her, to be honest. I don't even deserve anything near what she is to me, for me. But.. whether I deserve her or not.. she is here. And.. I hope it stays that way. I only hope that maybe, in one way or another, I can be there for her, as well. I can't truly put what she deserves into words, not justifiably, anyway. But this is the best I could do, for now.
If.. no.. -When- you read this, Evee, I want you to know.. you mean a lot to me.. more than a lot. You mean Everything. You were there when others abandoned me. You were there when I abandoned you. You were there when I pushed you away, and when I hurt you. And, even now, you still are here.. and I can't thank you enough. I wish there was some way I could repay you. Some way I could repent for all the wrongs I've done. I only hope that being there for you can do that, for now.
I'm sorry that this is on my Blog.. really.. because I know a lot of people read it.. but.. I had to get it out. If not, it most likely would have never come out. I hope you understand. I hope you can forgive me, once more.
To everyone else who has been there for me, Gavin, Lisa... Aly.. everyone.. I can't thank you enough. I really can't.
Now, since I'm already in tears, I'm going to head off to bed. Hopefully to sleep. I need it.
Look down. Nope, a l'il further. Just a l'il more. There you go! See the lyrics on the bottom script bar, there? Ain't it spiffeh? I got it from Josh's blog, so I have to thank him. Thankee, Josh!
Erm.. yeah. I just got invited to see Van Helsing tomorrow with Kourtney, Robyn, Marianne, and some guy named Mike? * Shrugs * I have no money.. and I'd like to take one of my friends.. like.. Evee.. but I can't. She's going with Aly tomorrow night, I think. * Sighs * I don't know if I'll go yet. I need to talk to Evee and stuff like that.
My arm is bleeding. A lot. ._.''
Descendents' boards are open. Or.. at least will be as soon as I finish Lloyd and Kym. >_<; I need to quit being lazy. But.. that's just.. what I do. >_>;;
I wasn't lazy today, though. Outside, for like.. 2 and a half hours cleaning up the school yard thing. v_v;; And we didn't even get anything for it. Cheap ass school. * Shakes fist *
And.. that's all, for now. Sorry about the shortness.
Let You Know // Hoobastank I just thought that I'd let you know
that although I'm far
I'm close to you within
and all the time spent by your side
is taken deep in me
held for me to keep
to look upon when I'm feeling like
everything and one
is hurting me for something or other
it takes me to a better place
nowhere I'd rather go
thought I'd let you know
Who you are
What you do
Makes me burn to be in you
(be in you)
Who you are
And what you do
I'm burning to be in you
I just thought that I'd let you know
Being near you is
A gift I only wish I could treasure
But for now I'll sit and wait
I'm still burning though
Thought I'd let you know
Who you are
What you do
Makes me burn to be in you
(be in you)
Who you are
What you do
I'm burning to be in you
Thought I'd let you know
It Feels like I'm falling
I'm all on my own
Thought I'd let you know
It feels like I'm falling
I'm all on my own
Thought I'd let you know
Who you are
What you do
Makes me burn to be in you
(be in you)
Who you are
What you do
I'm burning to be in you
Who you are
What you do
Makes me burn to be in you
(be in you)
Who you are
What you do
I'm burning to be in you
I've got a little while.. so I plan to do a little bit longer of a post than usual.
Where to start..?
One big thing. Today.. I was -happy-! I was actually happy. Even when I saw Aly.. even when I thought of everything.. I could still smile. Thank you Lisa. Thank you Eva. Thank you all, so much.
Next, I will go with school. Stuff's been going okay in school. I'm not doing very well at all in Math.. * Sighs * But I just need to learn to apply myself.. which I have trouble with. * Pouts * And I'm taking -two- Math courses next year. I better smarten up by then. English is good. English is always good. I sit next to Brian, which can be annoying sometimes.. but at otehr times it's cool. He gives me stuff to draw off of. ^_^; Yay. Family Living and ITC both suck, as usual. They always will. Art is getting better. Much better. We're starting our paper mache projects, which if very fun. Gross, but fun. Josh is doing Chu.. a little character that he made a while ago. I am going to do a couple of things, I think. The first is the l'il cat Bouncing-Bloo Kitty from the Live Journal moods things. ^_^;; Apparently what I have so far is really cute. >_<;; I don't think so. That's all for school?
What else?
Oh.. I am quite sure that at least 90% of the people that know me in my classes think I'm Shounen-ai. Of course that's not entirely -untrue-.. but.. Shush! They aren't s'posed to know that. ^_~;;
I don't know what else I can think of... * Frowns *
My Gamecube is broken, which sucks serious ass. But, at least Metroid still works on it, which is good. I'm almost done it. I only have Two, count 'em, -two- artifacts left.. then I just go to the Imapct Crater and get slaughtered by Ridley.. or Meta-Ridley. One of the two. >_<;; I haven't played that, actually, yet tonight.. * Squishes a Bug on his 'Puter monitor.. * ( Eww.. ).. and I can't play it until later. I've got homework. v.v; Math Homework. * Sighs *
My ' Puter also has a lot of problems with it. Like.. Media Player is downloading Ad-ware, and saying that it's not a program. * Sighs * Oh well. It'll all be better soon, I hope. Better be!
Erm.. Anything else..?
How about a Survey? ( Sorry, but I've been going through my inbox. >_<;; )
1. Full name? Bryan Daniel Viau.. ( You will tell -no one!- )
7. Do you like to sing in the shower? * Shakes his head * I like to listen to music, though.
8. Do you like to sing? 'Pends how I feel?
9. Birthday? January 9, 1989
10. Sign? Capricorn. ( The Fish-goat.. >_< )
12. Sex? Male
13. Righty or lefty? * Waves a little flag that says ' Lefty's Rule '.. Ironically, he waves it with his right hand. >_< *
14. What do you want in a relationship? Love, I guess.
15: Have you ever cheated? on a person? in games? On a test, yes. On a person, I clarified this earlier. I cheated on my Boyfriend with his ex-husband, you see.
17. Do you have a car? No. Why Car places when I can Foot myself there. >_>;;
18. What kinda car do you have? The kind made of.. sneaker.
FAVORITE QUESTIONS:
19. Movie(s)? Far too many to say. Princess Mononoke.. End, Death and Rebirth, Boondock Saints, Lord of the Rings.. Countless others.
25. Food? Sushi.. or.. something Tastey?
27. Cartoon? Well.. Anime of Course.
29. Color? Black.. or Red.
30. Plan on having kids? Yush, definately.
33. Get married? Yush!
34. Would you have kids before marriage? Nah!
35. Do u have a b/f or g/f?: Not for very long.. with the whole affair thing. v_v;;
37. Are u strait or gay? Yes.
EITHER-OR (PICK WHICH ONE YOU PREFER)
38. Music/TV?: Music.. Sometimes TV..
39. Guys/Girls?: Yes.
40. Green/Blue? Green.. no Bloo!.. No Green!.. e_e;
41. Pink/Purple? Purple.. Dark Purple.
42. Summer/Winter? Winter. Summer is too Warm.. But Winter means school. * Frowns *.. I know.. Autumn!
43. Night/Day? Night.
44. Hangin Out/Chillin? Hanging out.
45. Dopey/Funny? Funny..?
46. You know I'm around when you hear? All the.. Gay jokes? o_O;;
47. What school do u go to? The Bloo. ^_^;
48. Biggest Pet Peeve? Uhm.. I have no clue.
49. What's a major turn on for you? Cute-ness?
50. Friends? Yes, thank you.
51. Most blonde? Me? o_O;; I used to be.
52. Nicest? Evee?
53. Funniest? Who knows.
54. Tallest? Josh.
55. Best personality? All of us!
56. Which people do you trust and are open with the most? Most likely Evee.. and Li-sama.
57. Do you believe in soul mates? * Nods *
58. Is it right to flirt if you have a bf or gf? Yes.
OTHER RANDOM QUESTIONS
59. What was the last thing you cried over or got teary about? This situation I am in.
60. What's something about guys/girls you don't get? .. Yes?
62. What's one thing you can't live without? Oxygen.. and People.
63. Love or Lust? Ai. Perferably -Shounen- ai. ^_^
64. Silver or gold? Definately Silver.
65. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? * Nods * My Link-sama.
67. What color underpants are you wearing right now? I told you this remains undisclosed.. for the safety of the general public. It's lethal to know the status of Mortal's under-garments. >_<;;
68. What song are u listening to right now? Smae Direction // Hoobastank
70. Where would you want to be on your honeymoon? I really want to go to Japan. Somewhere near Mount. Fuji.
71.Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with? I can't say.
72. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Hair. Hair is pretty.
74. What makes you happy? I am not quite sure. Friends..
75. What's the next cd/s you're gonna get? Lots. Look up there to find out. * Points to the ' Music ' drop-down *
76. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Neither. I want Glasses.
77. What's the best advice given to you? ' Don't eat that! '?
78. Have you ever won any special awards? Nope. -Definately- not that Art award last year.. Idiot school!
79. What are your goals in life? Live..
80. Funny or Scary movies better? Scary, I think.
81. On the phone or in person? I don't know. It depends.
83. Hugs or kisses? Hugs.. >_>;;... <_<;;...
84. What songs reflect you the most? The Reason // Hoobastank, A Place for my Head // Linkin Park
85. If you died tomorrow who would you leave everything you own to? Evee! She can distibute it evenly!
86. Do you have any enemies? Too many to list.
88. Would you rather be rich or famous? Rich.
89. What time is it in Albania now? Maybe around.. 5 a.m.?
91. Have you ever met Santa? Nope.
92. If E.T. knocked on your door holding up a peace sign and asked you to use your phone what would you do? Run away screaming.. I don't know why.
93. When did you last talk to the person that you like? This afternoon. I like lots of people.
94. Do you have any pets?: 4 Nekos... a Bunny and a Bird!
96. Last time you were stressed? Now?
97. Are you an alcoholic? No. Never will be, either.
98. Who sent this to you? Well.. since this is on my blog, no one, but.. for arguments sake, we'll say Eva?
99. What do you think of this person? Spiffeh?
100. Do u want your friends to write back? Again, this isn't really applicable. >_<;;
There you go, people. 100 more questions about me. Yey? And now I go off to shleep. I need shleep.
STYLE
001. Clothing: Baggy Pants, Baggy Long sleeve shirts, hoodies, Anime Shirts, Socks
002. Music: Rawk!
003. Make Up: Ew..
004. Body Art: Scars?
RIGHT NOW
001. Wearing: Baggy Black Pants, My torn Japanese shirt.. that's all?
002. Listening To: Hoobastank
003. Thinking Of: Metroid Prime! * Cackles *
LAST THING YOU
001. Bought: Lunch..? Other than that.. Manga.
002. Ate & Drank: Uhm.. Garlic Fingers and Pepsi
003. Read: Dracula by Bram Stoker
004. Watched on TV: Uhm.. The Reason video.
EITHER / OR
001. Club or House Party: House Party. I guess. Only with like.. three people there, though. And.. at my house. >_<;;
002. Tea or Coffee: Tea. Definitely.
003. Achiever or Slacker: I am James' Underling of Slacker-ness!
004. Deer or Cider: Neither?
005. Drinks or Shots: Again.. neither. Quit it with the alcohol, stupid thing.
006. Cats or Dogs: Cats all the friggin' way.
007. Single or Taken: Single.
008. Pen or Pencil: Pencil, that way I can make mistakes. e_e;;
009. gloves or mittens: Gloves, leather gloves
019. Food or Drink: It all depends.
011. Cassette or CD: CDs are better.
012. Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi cause it's here..
013. Hard or Mild Alcohol: What did I tell you! * Fwaps *
014. Matches or a Lighter: Lighter.. no.. matches smell nice.
015. Sunset Beach or the Bold and the Beautiful: None of the above, I hate those shows
016. Ricki Lake or Oprah Winfrey: Neither.. they're both Psycho.
WHO DO YOU WANT TO
001. Kill: Not nearly enough room.
002. Hear From: One person, and one alone.
003. Get Really Wasted With: * Growls *
004. Look Like: Sephiroth. Or Kenshin. Or Jet. Or Duo...
005. Be Like: Me really, as much as I hate my life, I'm not gonna mimic someone else.
LAST PERSON YOU?
001. Touched: That guy on the bus maybe..? Or Evee.
002. Talked to: Father.
003. Hugged: Evee.
004. Instant Messaged: Li-sama
005. Kissed: Erm.. Undisclosed.
006. Who Broke Your Heart: I think my heart remains intact.. Dead, but still intact.
WHERE DO YOU
001. Eat: Everywhere?
002. Dance: About 3 ft. back from here
003. Cry: Here.. or there.. or there.. ( This goes on.. )
004. Wish you were: Everywhere.
HAVE YOU EVER
001. Dated one of your best friends? Nope
002. Loved somebody so much it makes you cry? Yep.
003. Drank Alcohol? * Smacks *
004. Done Drugs? Of course not! * Smacks harder *
005. Broken the law? Not that any of you know about.. >_>;;
006. Ran away from home? Nope.
007. Broken a bone? Yep
008. Cheated on a test? Yep. Damn those Geography tests!
009. Skinny Dipped? No.
010. Played Truth or Dare? Countless times
011. Flashed someone? Hope not.. e_e;;
012. Mooned someone? Nope, never
013. Kissed someone you didn't know? Never
014. Been on a talk show/game show? Don't think so
015. been in a fight? Nope, just beatings
016. Ridden in a fire truck? I don't think so..?
017. Been on a plane? Nope.
018. Come close to Dying? Yeah.. I think so.
019. Cheated on your Boy/Girlfriend? Yes, I cheated on my boyfriend, with his ex-husband, you see..
020. Gave someone a Piggy back/Shoulder ride? Lots of times.
022. Swam in the ocean? I live on an island, what do you think?
023. Had a nightmare/dream that made you wake up? Yep. I've been having a reoccuring one recently, actually.
1. What's on your bedside table? I don't have a Bedside table.. >_<;; I have a speaker beside my bed that I keep stuff on. If you mean that, then my clock, and some remotes. Lots of remotes. o_o;
2. What's the geekiest part of your music collection? Probably the large amount of Classical music.. or maybe my pile of 700 and some random midis of classical music.. >_<;;
3. What do you eat when you raid the fridge at night? Nothing much. If I eat at night.. it usually consists of junk.. not much from the fridge.o_o;;
4. What is your secret guaranteed weeping film? The End of Evangelion, Samurai X: Romantic Tales from the Meiji, or... maybe some of the Kenshin tapes.
5. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done? None. Plastic Surgery is stupid. Bloody stupid.
6. Do you have a completely irrational fear? Uhm.. I s'pose I have lots.. but none that I can think of right now. Claustrophobia?
7. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments? I have -no- idea. I s'pose I avoid making eye contact.. o_o;;
8. Do you ever have to beg? Uhm.. I guess I used to, to Aly. That was wrong of me. I don't do it anymore.
9. Do you have too many love interests? Yes. Plain and Simple.
10. Do you know anyone famous? Nope. And I never plan to.
11. Describe your bed. A water bed frame with a normal mattress in it with Leopard Skin flanneleth sheets and a -Rurouni Kenshin- comforter! * Giggles *
12. Spontaneous or plan? Spontaneous.. I guess. Any time I've ever made a plan.. it always falls through. v_v;;
13. Who should play you in a movie about your life? Me, I would hope. But I wouldn't ever want a movie made of my life. >_<;;
14. Do you know how to play poker? Nope.
15. What do you carry with you at all times? My Cross. And my Kitbag. I'm wobble-y without it.
16. How do you drive? Well.. non-existently.. since I have no license.
17. What do you miss most about being little? Being read to by Mom..
18. Are you happy with your given name? I don't know. I can live with it, since like no one really calls me it anyway. Mortal's my name.
20. What was the last song you were listening to? Unaffected // Hoobastank
21. Have you ever been in a school play? I think so. A Harry Potter one. I think I played Ron. Creepy.
22. Have you ever been in love? I have Loved.. but I am not sure if I've ever been -in- love. I may be.. but I can't say.
23. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself? I don't really like myself.. but I have to believe in myself, right now. If I don't.. I can never change.. I can never make up for this pain I've caused.
25. Do you think you're cute? No.. not at all, really. But so many other people have said that I am.. so.. maybe I am?
26. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person? I can't answer that. Not right now. Most likely not for a long while. v_v;;
I'm getting very much into Metroid Prime. Good game. Great game. One of the few that my Cube will still play.. and so.. that alone makes it a super game.. v.v;;
Other than that.. Not much.
Evee didn't come over last night. * Shrugs * I knew she wouldn't be able to.
It's amazing how fast this week went by.. It was such a hard week, too. I don't know why it went so fast.. * Frowns * Now I can only hope the weekend goes by slow.
* Sighs *
I'm in a bad mood.. I don't know why.. I'm just.. Genuinely sad. And that's spelled wrong, which makes me feel stupid. v.v;
Same Direction // Hoobastank Whenever I step outside, somebody claims to see the light
It seems to me that all of us have lost our patience.
'cause everyone thinks they're right,
And nobody thinks that there just might
Be more than one road to our final destination
But I'm not ever going to know if I'm right or wrong
'cause we're all going in the same direction
And I'm not sure which way to go because all along
We've been going in the same direction
I'm tired of playing games, of looking for someone else to blame
For all the holes in answers that are clearly showing
For something to fill the space, was all of the time I spent a waste
'cause so many choices point the same way I was going.....
But I'm not ever going to know if I'm right or wrong
'cause we're all going in the same direction
And I'm not sure which way to go because all along
We've been going in the same direction
So why does there only have to be one correct philosophy?
I don't want to go and follow you just to end up like one of them
And why are you always telling me what you want me to believe?
I'd like to think that i can go my own way and meet you in the end.
I'm not ever going to know if I'm right or wrong
'cause we're all going in the same direction
And I'm not sure which way to go because all along
We've been going in the same direction
* Sways * Thank you Robyn and Kourtney, for letting me borrow this CD so I can burn mehself a copy! * Cheers, waving a l'il ' Robyn and Kourtney ' Flag * Now I finally have Hoobastank.. who I adore. ^_^;; Doug is cute. I don't know why.. he just is. >_<;;
Erm.. what else..?
Oh, Evee has a DVD burner.. so I have been trying to save money and stuff to give to Tyler and everything for no reason. * Frowns * Oh well.. now I just need to get DVD R's.. v.v;; Expensive. I'll have to Beg.
Other than that.. Nothing else. * Goes off to eat something. Maybe a Sammich *
I'm really going to miss Friends. I've been waching it since it began.. * Pouts * This is no fair. It's not allowed to end.
Oh.. I may not be able to post tomorrow.. because I think Dad is going to be on the computer for most of the night. >_<;; So if there's no post tomorrow, that's why.
I hate to say this.. but I wish I lived in the States. I can't enter that contest to win a special Collectors Edition Gamecube from Tales of Symphonia, which, by the way, seems like the best game ever.
Recently I've gotten a flood of ' Mortal is pretty ' remarks thrown my way. I've been cold ' Hott ' repeatedly by Laura, been told that I'm good looking by a bunch of others. * Frowns * You're all Nuts. Nuts I tells ya!
Blogger is being weird. It's like.. regressed back to the old posting format... o-O;; I'll have to reboot and check it later. * Shrugs *
Layout change coming soon. So.. be prepared. I think I might keep the format.. and just change the picture and everything again.. but. who knows. With my Newly acquired Frontpage and Adobe Photoshop maybe I can make something better? * Nods *
I did it! I slept outside last night! In -May-! In -Canada-! I'm so proud! Yeah.. of course there was frost on me when I woke up.. but I didn't care. The sound of water.. the wind.. the outside.. everything. It was all so calming. I was so happy. * Nods * I can't wait for it to get warmer... so I can do it more often.
* Yawns * Of course.. I'm sleepy. I didn't even try to sleep until two. >_<;; Baka Mortal. But that's okay.
Now all I have is a day full of homework left to do. * Frowns *
I had gotten off the Net tonight earlier.. but I decided to come back.. because something really.. cool just happened. I disconnected and went downstairs to see if we had anything to munch on.. and I was just sort of drawn outside. We took out the walls surrounding our back deck for the winter today, so I could see my backyard from the kitchen.. and I just wanted to go outside. So out went. I went up on the deck and looked up at the stars.
It was then I remembered how I used to go out and lie on my roof. I'd sleep up there.. because the moon made me feel.. peaceful. So I climbed up on my roof.. and moved to wear I could see the moon, and lied down. I was up there for almost an hour. When I finally got up, and looked up again.. I felt the warm breeze blowing through my hair.. and the cool night.. and I thought.. ' Mmn.. All's right in the world. '.. and I smiled. I was truly happy. Truly at peace of mind. It's been a long time since that happened.
I think I might sleep on my roof, tonight.
I'm sorry if this didn't interest you.. but I just wanted to write this down.. because it was nice.
Tamashii No Rufuran // Takahashi Youko Watashi ni kaeri nasai
Kioku wo tadori
Yasashisa to yume no minamoto e
Mo ichido hoshi ni hikare
Umareru tame ni
Tamashii no Rufuran
Aoi kage ni tsutsumareta suhada ga
Toki no naka de shizuka ni furuete'ru
Inochi no yukue wo toikakeru you ni
Yubisaki wa watashi wo motomeru
Dakishimeteta unmei no anata wa
Kisetsu ni saku maru de hakanai hana
Kibou no nioi wo mune ni nokoshite
Chiri isogu azayaka-na sugata de
Watashi ni kaeri nasai
Umareru mae ni
Anata ga sugoshita daichi e to
Kono te ni kaeri nasai
Meguriau tame
Kiseki wa okoru yo nando demo
Tamashii no Rufuran
Inoru you ni mabuta tojita toki ni
Sekai wa tada yami no soko ni kieru
Soredemo kodou wa mata ugokidasu
Kagiri aru eien wo sagashite
Watashi ni kaeri nasai
Kioku wo tadori
Yasashisa to yume no minamoto e
Anata mo kaeri nasai
Aishiau tame
Kokoro mo karada mo kurikaesu
Tamashii no Rufuran
Watashi ni kaeri nasai
Umareru mae ni
Anata ga sugoshita daichi e to
Kono te ni kaeri nasai
Meguriau tame
Kiseki wa okoru yo nandodemo
Tamashii no Rufuran
Soul's Refrain // Takahashi Youko ( Translated Version )
Please come back to me,
Following memories
To the source of gentleness and dreams,
In order to be born, and shine to the stars
Once again...
Soul's refrain
Your naked skin wrapped in blue shadows
Trembles quietly in this moment
Your fingertip searches for me,
As if asking for the whereabouts of life
The you that was embraced by fate
Blooms in season like an ephemeral flower
Leaving behind the scent of hope on your chest
Scattering hurriedly in splendid form
Please come back to me,
Before you are born
To the earth you spent your days on
Please come back into my arms,
To meet again
Miracles do happen, however many times
Soul's refrain
When eyes are closed as if in prayer
The world simply disappears there into the darkness
Even so, my heartbeat starts again
Looking for a bounded eternity
Please come back to me,
Following memories
To the source of gentleness and dreams.
You, too, please come back,
So we can love each other.
Heart and body repeat
Soul's refrain
Please come back to me,
Before you are born
To the earth you spent your days on
Please come back into my arms
To meet again
Miracles do happen, however many times
* Wants to quote something from Death and Rebirth, but will with hold. Dun want to bore you people, or anything. *
Afternoon?
I don't know what to say. I'm sleepeh. Spent a long time last night watching Evangelion. The Director's Cut; Genesis Reborn is the most amazing director's cut I've ever seen. It made it so much better. Even if I fell asleep once or twice.. >_<;; Shush. It was only for a couple of seconds.
Other than that.. nothing much to write about?
I want to spend time with James. Lots of time. I miss James. * Pouts *